Welcome to BB forums. Here you should be able to say what you want without fear of judgement. I think that you reaching out to here also means that you recognise an issue and would like to fix or manage.
On anxiety itself, I totally understand. You have two voices in your head ... One says you are a failure. The other says that is a totally illogical thought - at least that's how it works for me.
As for managing it there are a number of approaches. You could use an app like relax melodies which helps (me) to clear the mind of negative thoughts. Deep breathing exercises can also help, along with meditation. It a case of finding what works best for you.
One thing to work on or find out is the causes of your anxiety.
Have you spoken to a GP about this? Are you getting any professional help? These people would be able to help you find answers to these questions.
Does your friend know what you are going through? Could you tell her? Reassure her that it is the anxiety, and that you want to be with her.
Miost if not all here have been or are in positions similar to you. A new journey begins today...
Feel free to post here and others will respond as needed. But we are all here for each other in supporting and caring.
