Loss of identity and trying to figure my new path out

[kned]

I am currently struggling to find myself regarding my career and overall purpose in life.

I've found myself in a place where I am a full time mum, at home with my 2 beautiful children and a baby on the way. The career I once had, is no longer really there due to sector changes. I also don't know whether I want to go back to anything similar. I feel burnt-out from that field. There were many good aspects but also many that were challenging and I just don't have the energy for them plus my home life now.

My family say this is a perfect time for me to look at studying something new. However I have no idea what I want to study! Every day (when the kids nap/are at preschool) I try to figure out what I want to do but just go around in circles.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this going around in circles? Because it makes me anxious that I just cant figure out my life!!

[geoff]

Hello Kned, again I'm sorry your comment hasn't been answered, but this will put it back to page 1.

It would be nice for you to gain another career by studying, however, you have 2 beautiful children already and another one on the way, so this is going to demand a lot of your time, and at the moment when you can manage to get some sleep that would be a bonus, you must be exhausted and even more so when your third baby decides to come into our world.

If you have time then you could browse the careers or what you maybe interested in, but give yourself a break, what you do at home is a full time job and I totally respect what you do.

My apologies for being so late.

Geoff.

[HanBan]

I completed understand what you are feeling.

i am at cross roads with my life and have some big decisions to make re work or study.

I have a 7 year old and work full time and left a domestic violence situation whereby I have had a lot of confidence taken from me.

my advice would be to try some career websites that look at your strengths and weaknesses what you like and what you don’t. Start writing some of these down and research research research.

But most important of all is to be kind to yourself and recognise the amazing job that you are doing.

Surround yourself with lovely kind people and cut away people that are negative and cause you anxiety.

All the best xx

Hannah

[kned]

Thank you so much for replying.

Ita funny as my mum and husband have told me the same thing. They feel I should just focus on my time as mum for now and not take on too much more. I guess I just feel I need to do more. I'm comparing myself to friends who have kids (albeit older ones) who are working. It's silly and I know I need to just focus on my own family for a while.

Ill definitely take a step back and try to stop putting so much pressure on myself to have it all!

[kned]

Thank you so much for your reply! I'm sorry that you are also at a cross-roads with your job and career. It is hard to make big decisions, especially when lacking confidence. I'm sorry you have lost confidence although you are so strong and brave for getting away from the DV relationship!

Ill definitely try to put less pressure on myself and just look at some career websites to see if anything jumps out at me.

[Elizabeth CP]

I think that now is not the time to be worrying about a new career when you are already a full time mum & expecting number 3. Unfortunately society puts so much pressure on women to do everything!!!

I stayed home with my kids except for one year when I worked while my husband was unemployed. Looking back I am glad I spent that time with them. I did some odd jobs including private tutoring (I was originally a maths teacher) & did a lot of volunteer work particularly helping at my kids school helping students who were struggling, going on excursions listening to reading etc. Take opportunities later when the time is right to do things which feel right to you but still allow you the time to be a mother.

When the time was right I went back to university to train for a new career. I was much older than everyone else but found that my life experience was valued. The life experience I had was also valued by my employers after I graduated. I share that to show that waiting until later will not limit you but allow you opportunities you couldn't imagine now.

[kned]

Thank you so much for sharing your story!

I think next year when my oldest starts school, I will volunteer at the school when I can. I also just want to enjoy time at home with my kids. Like you said, there seems to be this pressure for parents to do everything to succeed. Thanks again and I'm so glad I reached out on here. I needed to hear this.