Looking for help :)

[Social_Dredd]

Hey all. I'm a 30 year old male who's suffering from social anxiety (self diagnosed). I'm looking for help.

I've recently tried to become a healthier person (gym, eating healthy, less alcohol, no drugs) but I've used alcohol as a social lubricant since I was a teenager and am now finding it next to impossible to work up the courage to go out in public and interact with people let alone socialize. I get anxious at the thought of a haircut, at the thought of sitting down for a meal at a restaurant, at the thought of interacting with people. I want to thrive in these situations, not run from them.

What should I do?

[Amanda_28]

Hi there, there are many ways in which you can help yourself with social anxiety. You can choose to talk to a qualified mental heath practitioner from Beyond Blue. I understand that it is hard to get out there and talk to others, you can always start with a call or start by talking to family or close friends and/or relatives. Eventually things will start to get easier when you’re used to talking or calling others. Hope this helps!

[Thunderdog]

Hey,

I'm a bit younger but I know EXACTLY what you mean. I too get anxious in all these situations and have and do 😞 use alcohol to help, which generally makes things worse. I never knew that it was anxiety or that it was social anxiety.

What I did was go to the doctor which was, I'm not going to lie, really hard, but it's always possible. I had a list of physical symptoms I was getting and when they occurred. Like feeling sick about eating in public. Also try to add to the list what your feeling. I didn't understanding what I was feeling and that it could affect my health so didn't say anything so it took months for the doctor to work out what was going on. If you think its social anxiety then say that too. But also have your list.

You may feel really anxious when talking to the doctor but just let it happen. If anything they will see how distressed you are and will help them understand.

I don't have an answer for how to stop social anxiety as I've only just started this journey too but getting help is worthwhile.

I really hope you can work up to seeing a doctor because really it's no big deal to see them, it's their job after all. Of course I know it's easier said then done but.

Please check back in

Cheers

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Social Dredd,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us!
A wave to Thunderdog and a welcome wave to Amanda_28 too!

I’m ready glad that you’re here. It sounds like you’re kind of done with anxiety beating you and really want to get on top of things and thrive with it. As someone with anxiety I applaud you for that because it is hard work.

There are a few different options - you can pick and choose what you like.

You can talk to someone. This might be friends, family, your GP or a therapist. Ultimately therapists are trained in anxiety techniques and are the typical go-to but it depends on what you feel comfortable doing.

You can head down the self-help route. This can be a little slower; but if you’re not ready to talk to someone then it can be a good first step. This can be anything from reading about anxiety, books, helplines, online programs, support groups, etc.

One of the biggest things you can do is to tune into some of those thoughts stopping you from doing these things. You can do the things. Sometimes it’s just about doing a little thing first (this is called exposure therapy in CBT), so that if going to a restaurant is your big goal, a small goal might be standing outside, or being in the park nearby, or even just saying hello to a person you walk past down the street. Then building up and up so that you know you’re stronger than your anxiety.

Ultimately, it’s whatever feels right for you - knowing that you want to change is a big first step.

[Megzt84]

Hi Social Dredd,

I suffer from Social Anxiety as well. Unfortunately I don't have all of the answers but stepping out of your comfort zone is going to help. I know it's not exactly easy but if you set yourself small social goals it really will help. Then you can work your way up to bigger ones.

I always think too much and especially about what might go wrong in a social situation. Try turning those thoughts into positive ones. The bad things we think will happen never do.

Is there something you are passionate about and can try to meet people in that way? So at least you have something in common?

There are a lot of self help books out there that do have some good tips.

[Social_Dredd]

Hey all.

I just wanted to thank the people who replied to my initial post. I haven't logged in since that day and thought I'd just update anyone who wanted to know what I'd done since then.

Firstly I told my parents and the support I received from them was really great. I've also told a few friends and got the same reaction. So it has been very positive. I start seeing a psychologist at the end of the month and I'm pretty anxious, nervous and eager to get the ball rolling.

As for the anxiety(or whatever it is). It's still very much there and over the past month I've been kinda depressed. I missed a few social events that I'd really wanted to go to and then spent the next week beating myself up about it. But I'm optimistic and somewhat happy that I've taken the first tiny steps towards managing whatever it is that ails me.

Cheers 🙂

[Mr__Anxiety]

Hi Dredd,

You and I are in the same boat, Im 26 year old male, suffer crippling social anxiety and depression.

I literally signed up just to tell you that.

I have missed the last 2 days of work from my social anxiety and depression.

I have been seeing a physiologist for the last 9 months, best decision I've ever made, its just great to sit there and offload any thoughts.

I really hope you have more luck than myself, I've lost 2 brother and my mother in the last 3 years, all from very sudden deaths, it sent me from mild depression and anxiety into a downward spiral which obviously got worse after each death. (Hope that makes sense)

Im hoping i can get on hear more to chat with people like yourself.

Stay strong champ.

[Social_Dredd]

Hey Mr. Anxiety

Sorry I haven't replied to your comment.

Thanks a bunch for signing up to wish me well. You're a top bloke/chick for doing that and it means the world to me that you'd do something like that. So cheers!

As for your losses, man, I don't know what to say. I'm extremely sad and sorry that you've experienced such tremendous pain. I hope that you and I can keep plugging away at the depression and anxiety and come out bigger, better and stronger.

I know words over the internet can only do so much but for what it's worth I'm sending you out all the love I can manage.

Cheers 🙂