Living a full life with Depression

[GoldCoast]

Well, this is a bit out of my comfort zone, but here we go. 

I have had depression from a young age. I'm now in my early 20s and it is seemingly becoming a piece of baggage that I will carry for life. I feel the switch flick and depression kick into gear from inside to out. Sometimes it quickly passes over, other times I want nothing more than to simple dissolve. 

My dad passed away a few years ago and I haven't had much of a relationship with my mum for 5+ years. I often find myself craving a north star to tell me what to do, or at least bounce ideas off and receive a bit of unconditional love from. I guess this is the starting point of where my depression receives much of its fuel. 

I find that my resilience as a person can be as fragile as a glass tissue at the best of times, so I can be pretty touch and go as a friend and partner. Yes, there are the days where my bed is my haven and there's no where I rather be than in that false sense of warmth and safety. 

But, to why I'm here. At the end of last year (Dec, 2022) I finished my undergraduate degree at age 22. I have two companies that I've moulded ready for take off, with them both showing good prospects through minimal income. But, I find watching them start to fly makes my depression flare up. Committing to the future makes me sad I guess; I never thought that I would still be here. 

How do you accept that Depression is going to be a part of your long-term? And, what do you find best works when depression and anxiety start to exacerbate one another? 

[Resilience21]

Hello GoldCoast

Thank you for your very well written article. I am glad you posted.

I do understand every aspect of your story.

I have had Bi-Polar 1 for 30 odd years and many episodes of anxiety and depression.

It is very hard when that switch flicks.

I have found a lot of healing by writing my book and shifting

my healing to "Acceptance and living one day at a time".

Once I had digested my past of my mother passing away when

I was 5 years old, there was no need anymore to look back

with pain. In order to deal with anxiety I learnt mindfulness

and I am now able to live one day at a time. I try not to

look too far ahead and experience the NOW.

Eckhard Tolle is a great Teacher.

If you are not afraid to have anxiety and depression until

the rest of your life, but live "day by day"

being grateful instead brings a lot of healing.

Thank you so much for our conversation.

B