Just some help dealing with a situation

[MossyVale]

Hey guys

I'm new to the forums and just looking for some advice.

I have ptsd/anxiety which can be crippling at times. I've been on anti depressants which I'm no longer taking but I feel have been a god send, but they aren't enough. Therapy did nothing to help. But no one in my immediate circle understands my anxiety, because well doesn't everyone get anxious?

My anxiety has been triggered again due to my job. I have moved interstate to take on a job I thought would be more life friendly than the industry I was working in.

Turns out I've unknowingly walked into a job and industry exactly the same. I've been in the job 2 months and my boss has decided to belittle me because I'm not learning as quickly as he wanted (I had zero previous experience). The rules are constantly changed, I'm being berrated for using my initiative, berrated if I get anything wrong, berrated for asking questions and being made to stay back without pay to "prove myself".

I don't want to work there anymore but I'm stuck in this "freeze" where I can't comprehend doing anything. I'm in a state where I don't even know where to start. I don't want to go to work, I'm too scared to quit. I'm tired on constantly having to endure this type of treatment at work. I wonder if this is actually normal these days? I'm tired of always being in conflict and I'm afraid that the little fire inside that keeps me going will go out.

I've started applying for new jobs but I'm terrified that I will be heading into another crappy job. Its a huge deal for me to have too much change, it upsets me a lot.

What do I do? How can I control my anxiety? How do I stop the cogs in my head from spinning past each other and actually lock into place so I can some healthy, rational decisions?

[BballJ]

Hi MossyVale,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. I am sorry to read what you are currently going through. Having dealt with anxiety for around 10 years I know how it feels to be in this state and as you said the cogs spinning past each other and not actually locking into place. That's a great metaphor for anxiety by the way, well done.

The work thing is definitely not normal and not fair on you at all, no one should be made to feel little at any time. Is there a superior you can talk too about what is happening, I know that is daunting but it sounds a lot like workplace bullying for reasons I do not know why they would do that to you. I know it's terrifying at this moment to go into another job that is unknown but the current situation you are in isn't helping so finding a new job may be a good thing for you and your mental health.

Controlling anxiety is always tough, do you have any coping mechanisms at all? I personally use music to calm me down, I know others use mindfulness, which you may want to look up. I would also suggest possibly going back to see a psychologist, I know you said it didn't help you last time but maybe giving it another chance may be good for you? They can help with controlling anxiety.

Please remember you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss anything you are going through.

Please post back as much as you like, we are always here to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hi MossyVale, from what you have told us is that you are being bullied at work by your boss, this is not going to help you at all with your anxiety, so I hope that you can remember and document what's been happening.
I would be going to your doctor and get them to give you time off work caused by stress, then ask them to see a psychologist which I believe work should be paying for.
Let's see how this pans out, and please let us know. Geoff.

[Sez93]

Hi MossyVale, I'm not professional help but I've just joined the forum too and j just wanted to say I know how you feel, I'm going through nearly all the same problems in no workplace and I just want you to know that a friend is listening and understanding xxxx

Sez

[MossyVale]

Yeah I've got a puppy and a couple of horses and I'm doing one subject a semester at uni. Sounds like a lot but it fills in the spare time nicely. Going for rides is the best therapy (its why I took this job, I was lead to believe I would have a lot of time to ride) except I haven't got a girth for the saddle at the moment lol. But it will soon stress me out when I can't look after them properly.

i managed to calm myself down last night to make a decision that I will stay at this job for another few months and take the opportunity to resign when my performance and pay is renegotiated (well... should be). It gives me time to find a better job or relocate to the one I think I want (in another state... of course!) I think this will be a far less stressful way of doing it, I just have to put up with work for the meantime. There is no superior I can speak to - this happens to be the director of the company (its only small) who is doing this to me.

I'm happy with the decision I've made now, I think haha. If push comes to shove I can quit, but right now just wouldn't be a good time, mostly financially

[MossyVale]

Thanks Sez93 😊😊😊

[melbourneboy88]

Hi MossyVale,

Thanks for posting:) I know this sounds weird in theory but I think it might be relevant. I'm currently learning business management as a year 12 subject, and this covered employee motivation. In this area, we covered Maslow motivation theory.

its states to be motivated (and happy) an employee must meet a lower tiered need to satisfy a higher need. Read the link and it'll give you more information. But I think because you aren't meeting you 'social' and 'safety' needs, you therefore aren't able to feel as if you matter in your workplace. Certainly I think that what you're going through is coming from this. Maybe talking to HR about further training will help as well as asking to talk to your boss, which I can understand is scary. You've taken the job because you at least wanting to do it, and that's a start. You wouldn't want to do a job in the first place.

maybe ask you why you wanted the job in the first place. Why did you think you'd like it? Why are you in the industry? What do you like about? What don't you like about it? What can help you to combat the stress of the bad things about it?(communication?)

i don't work, I'm only in year 12, but I have been in a rigorous sporting program for 3 years, competing successfully internationally, and I certainly feel burn out at times. But on my days off, or when I'm not training, I think about why I feel overwhelmed, and what I can do to combat the stress next time I feel it. Having other hobbies help, talking to others, I've recently got into music producing (I'm terrible but it's fun),

what ive learnt is you can't be someone who only does one thing, you need time off, other distractions and to have fun sometimes and most imporatantly recognise life is hard. But what I found to help is planning how I'm going to react when I'm in that situation to get the outcome I want, rather than continue to go I aimlessly.

I hope this helps, I've been in dark places as well and it's terrible. But self reflection is key. Understand why you do the things you do and why, once you know the things you like, aim to be the best YOU can be, not the best, but change what you're doing to make yourself a better person.

Keeping going fam xx

[BballJ]

Hi MossyVale,

I am glad to read you have come to a decision on what you want to do, believe it or not that is also half the battle especially when mental health comes into play.. we don't want to make decisions out of fear so the fact you were able to is great. Hopefully it does get better for you but also that you manage to secure a new job that you want as well. Try and stay as positive as you can.

May I ask, what sort of puppy do you have? I love dogs.

My best,

Jay