Job Provider Anxiety

[louxz]

Hi all,

I've been struggling with chronic GAD & MDD for around 8yrs & have been on Centrelink payments for around 2 yrs. Looking for work whilst seeing a psychologist was generally pretty easy sailing at first. My job provider was understanding & more than happy to help me. I didn't need therapy anymore & was coping. But then at the start of this year he left the office & I was placed with a different provider who worked there. At first she seemed to like me & wanted to help. I gained a certificate 3 in floristry last year & she was excited to start trying to place me in a florist. It seemed I'd found employment with a local florist but after 6 months of back & forth between them about the wage subsidy, the job fell through. During these 6 months my provider constantly promised a 2 week paid trial with the florist, saying that they'd call me about it when it was confirmed. This never happened & each fortnight I was pulled up & down in mood as a result. After an appointment where the florist wasn't even mentioned, I ended up contacting the florist myself & found out that she wasn't able to afford me & was upset that my job provider hadn't told me. My job provider actually ended up telling me 2 weeks after I'd found out from the florist. Now I must note that after speaking to her & understanding her situation, I'm on good terms with the florist & have done some voluntary work experience with her since.

All this leads up to now, where my job provider seems to dislike me.

After the florist job fell through she gave me a long, belittling lecture about how I have been on the dole for 2 years & how I needed to do better, this despite completing my course, taking steps to improve my mental health (aka a barrier to employment) & completely disregarding the fact that they had dragged me along for 6 months trying to sort out that florist job for me. Now when I see her each fortnight she seems to look down on me, making me feel small & useless, despite all I have done. I want to make it clear that I do want a job & I am looking for work diligently but she disregards my efforts & talks to me like I'm a lazy "dole bludger".

My appointments are now plagued with a crippling anxiety & I have had a drop in mood which has lead me back to therapy. I'm having anxiety attacks again (after a long while without them). I find it difficult to go back to my provider & am now struggling with motivation to find work.

Is there anything I can do to help this situation?

[Doolhof]

Hi louxz,

Thanks for sharing your story with us and welcome to the community here. I can see how frustrating this situation is for you.

I too have been in a similar situation to you.

My suggestions are that you continue on with some counselling to help with your moods.

Write down everything this person says to you as a record.

Phone the organisation providing the assistance and ask to speak to the manager and explain what has been happening. Request a different support person!

Take someone along to the meetings with you if that is possible. It is amazing how a person's behaviour changes when you have someone else with you!

Keep reminding yourself of your own values and beliefs and tell yourself how much yo have tried to gain employment.

Find activities and interests that you enjoy doing to help build your self esteem.

Remind yourself you are not the person this Job Provider person says you are!

Hope some of this helps!

Cheers to you from Dools

[Alexlisa]

Hello Louxz,

I'm really sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like it has been a really difficult time and I'm glad you reached out here.

I was wondering if your job provider is one that specialises in working with people with mental health issues? When I was using a job provider I asked Centrelink for a specific one (for me it was Ostara, but I know there are others) because they specialise in mental health. I was also told I was able to change providers if it wasn't a good fit, as long as I informed Centrelink.

I know it can be very difficult to speak up when you are stuck in such an uncomfortable and demoralising situation. No one has the right to give you a lecture like that or make you feel that you are a failure in some way. Maybe it is worth looking into if you can change provider if it is too anxiety provoking to request a different support worker at the organisation you're with.

Either way, I want you to know that you are not alone in this kind of experience. Unfortunately people with 'invisible' disabilities face a lot of judgement in their lives (I know I have) and it can especially hurt if you know that you are doing your best, which it sounds like you absolutely are.

Take care,

Alexlisa x