It's Monday morning

Stormgrl101 · ‎27-10-2014

And I'm not even out of bed yet and am panicking and anxious about the day ahead and don't know where to start or what to do. Why does life feel so pointless. I don't know how much more I can take!!!

hope you all are well

dougall · ‎04-11-2014

Hi Annebear I do quite a lot of crafts, watercolour paintings, knitting, rag dolls, sewing, acrylic painting, folk art, anything that takes my fancy at the time. At the moment it is watercolour painting. Was into card making, made so many will take me years to sell ha ha. With the visitors I know what you mean, is there anyway of keeping busy all day so you are in a head space not to think about it. I find I can get lost in my crafts and hours have passed before I have realised. You will be fine. How did you go with grandpa's thing?

Stormgrl101 · ‎04-11-2014

Hi dougall

wow sounds like you are a very creative person 🙂 my house mate and I painted some pots the other week made them nice and colorful and planted some pretty flowers. It looked awesome and brightened up the backyard.

I went ok with grandpas thing, turned out the place didn't have what they wanted so went elsewhere and he came wjth me so I didn't panic.

How is your day going ? I am hopefully going to play a game of tennis with my friend. It always brings up my mood so hears to a hopeful good day.

Stormgrl101 · ‎04-11-2014

Feeling down in the dumps. So many thoughts don't know which ones are true and which ones to listen to. I try and try once again it feels like I'm getting no where. This is not the life I wnt to live. People around me are getting engaged,, having babies and moving into their own houses, travelling the world. I dream of having that myself and I just want to cry. I am stuck and don't know what else I can do. I fail at life

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dougall · ‎05-11-2014

Hi Annebear I would give you a 100 out of a 100 for the way you are dealing with life. We all feel down in the dumps, I did yesterday really bad. The thoughts that race through your head and you try to work out which ones are true or not is impossible because it is our thoughts and we tend to listen to the negative more than the positive. A suggestion if you get any negative thoughts tell yourself that you will only listen to the positive thoughts today and will listen to the negative ones tomorrow, the negative thoughts think they will get their say, they won't tomorrow never comes, it is always today. We don't always end up with the life we want or think we should have we end up with the one we are meant to have. Life is a challenge even without any type of illness. The way I look at it is we are all unique and deal with things in our own way which then gives us the ability to help others because they deal with things different to us so everyone has a unique way of dealing with their problems, it is a different perspective. In my early twenties I too was thinking why have I not got a boyfriend, engaged, family, house, thought it would never happen. When I was 24 I met a man who was the first man to ask me to marry him, he was joking as he was 18 years older than me. It was because he was the only man that had proposed I thought I'll stick with him I might never get asked again. When I was 27 moved to Australia with him, got married and was divorced by 31. What I think I am trying to say things happen at there own pace and no matter how much we want things sometimes if we push the issue we make a choice that is not in our best interest. Traveling the world takes money so saving would be a good start and planning. I planned my birthday at the beginning of the year because birthday is christmas eve, have booked hotel middle of the year and now saving money so I can eat when away. It has taken me the whole year to achieve this and have gone without things but I will get by birthday in a fancy hotel. If you want something to happen it generally does not happen the way you want it to or in the time frame either. I used to look out my window if I seen a single guy in a car,what if I wave or other fanciful young fairytale thoughts. Have grown a lot older and a little cynical, only joking would still look out the window and love someone to come riding up to me and sweep me off my feet ha ha. I hope your day is full of positive thoughts.

Stormgrl101 · ‎05-11-2014

Hey dougall

it always makes me smile when I come on here and see you have written back to me so I thank you!

I talked to a counsellor online last night. She said maybe it's time for a review of medication? I don't know. Probably.

Today is a better day. Currently dying my hair violet. Haha. Going to have the house to myself for a few hours. Will try to get the vacuuming done.

Your birthday sounds like it'll be a lot of fun. 🙂 hopefully next year I can save money for a holiday. I want to go on a cruise!

HA1 · ‎05-11-2014

Hi Annebear

I have been following your thread - good to see you being active on here.

i was just thinking about the volunteer work you wanted to do. How did you go with that?

k

Stormgrl101 · ‎05-11-2014

Hello hideaway hope you are well and having a good day.

Posting and browsing on here makes me feel a little better. Nothing else has happened with the volunteer work. I don't know whether to call them (I hate talking on the phone grrr anxiety) or to just go there and see if I can talk to someone but that will cause more anxiety. Hopefully I will figure something out soon. I can't stay at home forever.

HA1 · ‎05-11-2014

Hello Annebear!

I was just thinking how much better you sound now compared to when you first posted not so long ago. Very happy to see that change 🙂

Phones!! I really don't like talking on the phone - much prefer to text or email. I am so bad that if I don't recognise the number, I simply won't answer (maybe not recommended for all!). I think it might be my social anxiety that is causing this 😞

When I had to go and meet people (socially or professionally), I tended to put on a 'mask'. The mask allowed me to zone in on what I had to do, and focus entirely on the outcome (a bit like meditation). But everyone is different, so it may not work, or be recommended, for others.

Nice talking to you

K

Stormgrl101 · ‎05-11-2014

So tonight my housemate gave away the little grey kitten I adored. He was so cute and I loved him. I feel so sad and empty inside. People telling me it was the best thing to happen and basically "get over it" and stop crying. But I can't. Up and down my moods are. More down then up.

i am the same with phones. I often just let it go and if it's important they will leave a message.

I should try to get some sleep. Not looking forward to waking up tomorrow. Ahh damn these negative thoughts.

Stormgrl101 · ‎07-11-2014

So, I heard back about the volunteer work. Turns out I need a certain qualification to do what I wanted to do. Not what I expected. Friend said to consider studying this course at tafe next year since it's only a certificate 2 in animal care.(would be something is probably enjoy). However I did a course earlier this year which I was excited about and only just struggled through it due to anxiety and depression. I couldn't be in the classroom because I was so anxious. Had a break down and had to go back to the doctor. It stressed me out and the people around me, thank god they are supportive.

i am scared to try another course next year, but I don't know what else I can do to get out of this dark hole I am stuck in.

Thanks for listening