Intrusive Thought - Is life worth it?

[Dylan925]

For the past 5 months I've been watching YouTube channels like Pursuit of wonder and exurb1a, their videos basically question everything related to life and why we are here. The result of watching the videos has made me think about how the majority of us have the same life just with small differences. The majority of us go to school, go to university or get a job, work till we're 60 and then retire. Now this may seem ideal to some, but for me this is the lowest form of life possible. Currently I am in Year 10 or sixteen and I'm planning to go to university to become an accountant, not because I want to, but because If I don't I won't be able to financially support myself. I would rather follow my dreams but that seems like a journey that I could never endure. The thing is, I know life is worth living, but to be able to live a life were you consider yourself happy in your 30s 40s and 50s seems impossible. I want to be a musician, a job that relies on preference but if you are successful and persistent with your career, you could possibly do something you love for money and enjoy your life in the periods that everyone considers themselves at their lowest. But it's risky to take the chance, and I have no skill in that craft whatsoever, I just really enjoy music and sometimes sing my own lyrics. But the safe option is to go to university and become an accountant and live the standard life. Right now I feel the pressure of determining my life and it's effecting me drastically on the inside. I'm constantly thinking about the fact that we have to train ourselves to be able to work and then work for the majority of our lives, then if we even survive to the age of 60 we have a short, crumbling, uneventful period of our lives just waiting for our demise, while people pity us because of it. I'd rather live a life where I live life doing something I enjoy. I'm scared of the future but I have confidence, if I knew how to make music and produce what I consider to be good music, (essentially relying on my taste of music) I think I could be successful, and right now I feel like I have all these great ideas but I can't put them onto paper and that eventually I will fall into the trap that is working a 9-5 job on a computer putting in meaningless numbers that mean something to someone else's meaningless life. But yeah I'm going to go have some cereal now even thought it's almost 11PM.

Stay ignorant and don't think about this too much - Dylan - 😄

[Petal22]

Hi Dylan925,

Welcome to our forums !

If being a musician is what you really want to do then go for it! Follow your dreams….. Keep manifesting it ….. I’m sure as time goes on ideas will come to you so your dream can become your reality……

“ If you can imagine it “

” You can achieve it”

“ If you can dream it,

You can become it

All the best Dylan

😊

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey Dylan925

Interestingly this is pretty much what my son, who is 24, was saying to me just the other day. (Perhaps he's been watching the same youtube stuff!). The only response I had for him was a Viktor Frankl quote which is: the meaning of life is to give life meaning. If for you, that's music, I hope you can find a way to do that.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Dylan, welcome to the forums

Personally, as someone in my 30s, I look back and think it ws absolute madness to be asked at age 17 to decdie what we wanted to do "for the rest of our lives."
I liked better the model in America (later adopted by some universities) where you get "an education" first, in a general way, and after school just go on to study things gnerally you are interested in. I liked the idea that in America even doctors in training do some poetry units, and art majors can study science too.

U don't need to choose anything just yet - just follow your passions without a second thuoght!

I think trying to fit into a box of accountant or musician would be very stressful, and in life you don't have to decide that ultimately unti you get there.... like waaaay later.

When I was 17 i felt very pressured to commit to a degree and choice. It's weird to me that almost everybody i grew up with and started university with is not working in the fields they studied. In fact, I don't know ayone who went to uni to be something and actually continued over the next 20 years working in that field.

Do ur parents or ppl around you reinforce the narrative that u need to choose your career now? Mine started pressuring me to do so when I was like 10, and it was absolutely soul-destroying.

U do u, whatever makes you happy, you deserve happiness 🙂

[Dylan925]

My parents and peers don't pressure me, I just put tell myself i have to get a good job, but ill try and take everyone's advice but yeah thank you and everyone else who replied.

[therising]

Hi Dylan

I can't help but wonder whether you're a bit of a natural philosopher in some way, with a thirst for meaning and revelation. There's nothing quite like a think tank of fellow wonderers and philosophers. A lot gets triggered under such circumstances, including higher consciousness.

Some of what you mention would be regarded as milestones, kind of like markers in life or even goals for some. Typical ones are education, job, family, house and so on. It can be hard to foretell what comes in between the milestones. If someone had have said to me when I was in my 20s 'This is what life is going to be like for you at 50', I would never in a million years have believed them. There have been an enormous amount of detours along the way, leading me to where I would never have imagined myself. By the way, I've never been a career minded gal, it's more so about my jobs having funded the journey to get here.

When it comes to the detours: Imagine you finish secondary school and find yourself at Uni. While there, you meet a couple of people who are like minded. They can't stand the humdrum life and begin wondering what it would be like to start a band. You all agree 'Let's do it!' Through a bit of trial and error, the band takes off, maybe only small time but you're living the dream while still studying. End of 1st year and someone says 'Let's go to Africa. What the heck! You go and learn some way out instrument while you're there, while helping build huts for villagers. Back you come to Uni, having decided 'This accounting is just not for me'. What to do? Maybe by this stage you've got some sort of soul mate kind of relationship going and your partner says 'Let's go to ___ and live in a commune for 3 months. We can make money picking fruit', so you do. Eventually, you come back to Australia. You're out having drinks with friends when someone says 'Do you know anyone who could act as a tour guide for me around Africa? I really want to go but am a bit nervous. I'm willing to pay well for the experience'. You put your hand up and off you go again. It's not until now you discover you're actually a natural born adventurer, not an accountant.

Often, life is about the detours which gradually direct us to who we naturally are. Everyone's milestones are going to be different depending on the detours. Getting a feel for opportunity is key. Trusting whether something feels right or feels wrong takes practice.

Do you feel you're waking up to not wanting to settle down?

🙂

[Gambit87]

I too often wonder the same thing - Is life worth it?

Life is so hard sometimes and nothing punches you in the face harder then life.

But when I look around and see the many beautiful things life has to offer, I smile and I ask myself again - is life worth it? bloody oath it is.

[macfan6]

Personally I think if you would like to be a musician. You should go for it. You are at the age where you don’t have children or a mortgage/rent to pay. So you have nothing to loose with a possible unreliable income. Have you thought about doing some gigs or similar in the school holidays? Or if you feel like it would be too much with school, you could wait until you leave. You’d hate to have regrets later. Not to be a downer, it may work out. But if it doesn’t. You could always go to uni and study as an accountant. I don’t see why we have to have the same job for our whole lives. Some people study in their 20’s, and some maybe 40’s. As for retirement at 60. My dad was retired. He loved his job so much, at 70 he is working again. Some people may see that period as a chance to do things they couldn’t do before, like travel more. A kind of freedom without work. A reward for working for so long maybe. Looking at life as a whole could be depressing if you think of it as we all do the same thing. Not everyone’s life is the same.