Intrusive nightmares

[Bibbetyboo]

I have always had really vivid dreams and really vivid nightmares the kind that could be made into films.

Before i became pregnant I smoked a lot to block these bad dreams out even at the expense of the good ones.
I dont watch movies anymore or listen to much music so as not to stimulate my overactive imagination.
after my child was born (12 month ago next Sunday) it took a while but the nightmares are back.
They are so draining i have not had a good night sleep for a while and they put me in horrible moods in the morning.
Often they’re related to the past, things i regret and feel guilty about and things i wish never happened. They’re exaddutated and very triggering.
Sometimes my nightmares make me feel physically sick and loss of appetite they re so vulgar.
I dont smoke anymore and wont go back to that life but it did cancel out my dreams for years. I turned to weed because i kept having dreams about angels telling me about the future and dreams about real dead people passing on messages, no kidding it made me really isolated I was so disturbed by them however couldn’t tell anyone out of fear of reaction.
Some of those dreams came true, some are now just coming to pass.

When i was in high school my nightmares were so bad i had a mental breakdown and constantly contemplated suicide.
This type of lucid vivid dreaming has nearly destroyed my life, driven me to drink excessively through my 20’s and caused so much of my depression and isolation.
I am so anxious about sleep, i dont look forward to it anymore but as a single mum my body is aching for sleep.
What can i do about this? I am terrified these nightmares are going to start getting really bad again.

[therising]

Hi Bibbetyboo

I can only imagine the stress involved in fearing going to sleep. Even then, what I imagine would not even come close to how you truly feel, I'm sure. My heart truly goes out to you.

Sounds like you have a mix of 2 different types of dreams/nightmares. While one lot points to perhaps having unresolved issues, triggering feelings of guilt and regret, the other sounds a lot like precognitive dreaming (dreaming of future events). While the 1st type could entail finding a professional to help you manage making sense of guilt, regret and other feelings, the 2nd type could entail some form of professional guidance and management in the way of mastering what could be an intuitive ability (which feels more like a curse than anything). With the 2nd, I've heard it's not unusual for people to drink to either turn down the volume on this ability or switch it off completely, due to an inability to tolerate it, for a variety of reasons.

The dreams/nightmares definitely sound intolerable, especially seeing they're impacting you throughout your daily life.

With the dreams involving guilt and regret, guilt and regret are typically triggered when people have become more conscious (of their actions). I imagine, simply knowing you're far more conscious than you used to be won't automatically switch off these feelings. Having gradually managed to deal with a heck of a lot of guilt and regret in my life, regarding my past, I've found one of the things that makes some difference involves saying to myself 'Under the circumstances, that's who you were. You are more conscious now'. A lot of those regrettable circumstances stemmed from excessive drinking, not fully being in control of myself. I drank mostly to deal with depression during those years. I figure, I can't turn back time, all I can do it pity the girl who suffered through depression whilst making incredibly poor choices which, at times, impacted others. I'm a very different person now, managing consciously to not repeat the same mistakes. This is one of the reasons I rarely drink these days. I hope this view makes some difference to you, in the way of forgiving yourself.

I've heard people who manage precognitive dreaming manage through emotional distancing. They're said to emotionally distance upon waking. Kind of like becoming the observer of the information, as opposed to the emotional participant in what they've observed. Some exercise distancing through journaling, becoming an objective journalist.

[Pumpkinella]

Hi Bibbetyboo!

Thanks for sharing how you are feeling. These nightmares sound really distressing, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.

I know that vivid nightmares are a symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I am not suggesting that you do or do not have PTSD but there are a number of treatments for those with PTSD and these treatments specifically assist in reducing nightmare occurrence and the effect these nightmares have on your life. There area number of cognitive and behavioural strategies psychologists can use to help you. There is also medication but I am not quite sure how effective that is yet. Worth a shot - probably better than smoking. Which congratulations for not smoking by the way. I'm an ex smoker - best but hardest thing to quit.

I recommend seeing a GP to assist you in finding the right psychologist. Alternatively you can search for psychologists here: https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist

That website lists all registered psychologists and you can actually search by issue. If you use PTSD as a search term then you know the psychologist has dealt with clients that have issues with nightmares! I used this when trying to locate a psychologist to help me with my chronic anxiety and I found someone really helpful.

That might be a good place to start. It can feel really isolating when you have a concern that seems like no one else goes through, but remember there is a specialist for every kind of issue these days that can help you manage this.

I hope this helps.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Bibbetyboo,

Both Therising and Pumpkinella have given you great support and suggestions...

I read your words and it related to me about the nightmares..I have C-PTSD brought on by a very abuse childhood and marriage..and yes I had very vivid nightmares about that...

When I was in hospital I started listening to sleep stories..they are very calmly read and are about beautiful places to escape to while we drift of to sleep......I find that if I can go to sleep with a relaxed mind, those nightmares are not frequent....Just like as a mother reads to her child to calm then down and try to put there mind into a better place...someone reading to us can help in the same way....

If you would like to give this a try.l.li really hope you will...then just go to YouTube and search sleep stories Dan Jones...He is a hypnotherapist and myself personally I like the way his voice is gentle....

I would be interested if you could let me know if you tried it and how it made you feel....no pressure lively Bibbetyboo...

My kindest thoughts with care..

Grandy..