Introduction of me - Anxiety ridden

[His_Goose]

Hello all, 

 I've never used an online forum before,  so am a little unsure of its outcome. 

I'm 24, a Youth worker,  married and of lately my anxiety has become worse.  My Dr weened me off one medication over 7 days and has gradually put me on another.  Presumably going up again on November 11th. I understand this transition may exacerbate my symptoms.  But I am missing so much work as a result, I am our sole income earner so am scared I'm stressing my husband who has bipolar type 1. While they are incredibly understanding I'm scared of losing my job which I love. I'm scared of leaving for work.. for any obligation really.  But not for things which I am not obliged.  It is so contradictory I wonder if I'm just lazy & don't know it.  I feel numb,  I'm always irritable,  my heart is always racing, I feel worthless and hate myself.   So I try to hide away from the world.  I try CBT techniques. Nothing works.  I see a private psychologist on 17/11. A previous counselor said I didn't need help as I had learned all available self help tools during my psychology degree. I dont know what to do,  I feel lIke I have success at my finger tips but I'm drowning within my own mind. I'm scared of letting everyone down. So I just continue to hide. 

[mr_techy]

Hi His_Goose,

It must be very scary for someone at your age to face such a tricky dilemma. 

I recommend firstly that you talk to your supervisor or boss and come to a compromise about pay if your worried about the pay. When you take a leave, ask if you can take payed leave or something like that. If you have a good supervisor, I'm sure they will understand. Please remember that you are not alone in this world and there are many people who will always support you no matter what.

 Secondly, medication is not the only treatment for anxiety. I find that calmness really helps. Find a relaxing hobby such as photography, mediation or scrap booking that slows down your heart rate. Keep consulting with your doctor about other natural relaxing treatments available. Keep focus and just take it easy. Anxiety doesn't clear away straight away. It take time. Longer for some and shorter for others. Everyone is different. Don't be afraid to do what you want. Hang out with your friends or partner and just "chill-ax".

If you feel worthless and hate yourself, don't. Everyone in this world is loved by someone. I'm sure you have some amazing friends who will support you all the way. Believe in not only them but in yourself as well. Self-image is very important and crucial to be happy.

Also, try having a bottle of water around when your heart starts racing as I have noticed that seems to work on some people. 

Please tell me how your situation is progressing soon.

mr_techy

Love life! Live life!