Introducing my anxiety

[Dyinginside]

Hi everyone. I'm new here so I would like to introduce myself and my anxiety. 

im 25 years old. I've been happily married for 3 years and am a stay at home mum to my very active 20month old son. All through school I was a very shy girl and didn't have friends because of the social fear. 

Since I gave birth 20 months ago I have been extremely anxious for absolutely no reason at all. I am super tense 24/7 no matter what. I've tried a lot of techniques but unfortunately nothing helps. I have been in and out of the emergency department the last week with chest pains, gasping for air, extreme dizzy spells, nausea, tension and the list goes on.... But I'm told it's only anxiety and it's not going to kill me. But oh my it's very painful! I'm currently on an antidepressant.

ive been seeing a counsellor the last 3 weeks but not finding it helpful. She is referring me to a psychiatrist but the only thing putting me off is the cost. 

I've tried to talk to my husband about it but he just doesn't get it...

Lets just say, I need some online friends who are going through the same thing so we can chat and realise we aren't alone coz right now I'm in pain and dying inside! 

thanks

[Mummybee]

Hello

my anxiety first started when I had my son, almost 6 years ago. I had never felt like it before, but since then I have had anxiety on and off. I also have a 2.5 year old daughter and her birth was no where near as traumatic, my anxiety didn't flare up when I had her, but it still does regularly. 

Something changes in us I think when we become a parent, suddenly someone depends on us 100% and that sparks fear.

i understand how you're feeling. I hope it gets better for you. 

Try talking to your husband again. Show him some of these posts from others to make him see. 

Mummybee

[BKYTH]

Oh how easily people say 'its only anxiety'. Perhaps seeing a Psychologist would be a better option as it is not so expensive, and in my experience, I have found them to be more useful. Has the medication you are on helped at all? If not a change might be needed. Discuss this with your GP.                                                                                          This site can only offer support and assistance and is not really able to offer online friendships although an ongoing dialogue could develop between you and others. You are certainly not alone and what you are describing would resonate with virtually everyone who posts here.                                                                                                         I assume the issue of post natal depression has been discussed with you. When you mention you have tried a lot of techniques to help you deal with your anxiety you must understand that any one technique takes time and effort to be able to help and you can't just jump from one to another without given each a chance to help. Sometimes, in looking for relief, we can do that because we just want what we are experiencing to end.                                                                                                      There is a reason for what you are feeling but you are not aware of what that is. Its sounds like you have experienced some level of anxiety for a long time since you refer to having social anxiety at school.                         I've experienced severe anxiety and have been told the same sort of thing as you have. I wish those that who told me that could have spent a week in my shoes and they would never dismiss it so lightly ever again.                         I hope you post again and again suggest you try seeing a Psychologist because they do not have a script pad to hide behind and, I think, generally are more useful because of that.             Philip.

[Dwwmills]

Anxiety can be really overwhelming.

I used a psychologist to tackle my anxiety and found them
very helpful. They use cognitive-based therapy to help me challenge my thought
processes and to develop better ways of thinking. This does not happen
overnight. You are trying to change thought patterns that you have been using
for years and this takes time.

My psychologist suggested I see a psychiatrist who
prescribed medication as we were having trouble with just cognitive-based
therapy alone. After 18 months I am now off medication and I am able to
continue with the cognitive-based therapy on my own. Life is much better. That’s
not to say that I don’t occasionally have bad days but I am able to deal with
them using the cognitive-based therapy techniques.

Both of these seemed expensive at the time but well worth it
when I look back at how I was feeling before. Not being anxious on a daily
basis is fantastic.

If you have your GP assess you for anxiety they can set up
what is called a “Mental Health Care Plan”. Medicare will then help pay for 10 visits
to a psychologist. It doesn’t pay it all but it does help to reduce the costs.

I found the psychiatrist much more skilled in prescribing medications
than my GP.

For me CBT is what tackled the underlying problem but
medication made it much easier to do that.

This doesn’t happen overnight and it is a lot of hard work
but it is really worth the effort. Once you start seeing results for that
effort it makes it much easier to continue on with the therapy.

[BKYTH]

It good that you were able to access a 'Mental Health Care Plan' I also am on one. I've never tried CBT but many people find it helpful. I tend to think of being mentally healthy in the same way as being physically healthy in that one has to make a daily investment in both if their state is to be maintained.                                                                     Sometimes each can be compromised by illness or a general sense of unwellness that passes in time. In my meditation practice I spend some time on the reality of change and how it is an inevitable part of life. If you can normalize the experience of being unwell at times, by that I mean accept that that is a part of everyone's life, then when it arises it is not so overwhelming or difficult to deal with. I think it is more productive to accept and work with difficult emotions than to resist them.                               For myself I don't seek a state of continual peace of mind but rather I strive to develop within myself the resources which will allow me to meet adversity in an effective manner rather than to fight against it.                     I think that who we are is more evident when we are challenged and asked to be more than we would wish to be than when 'all is well'. If we must work hard then let it be in building bridges between where we are and where we want to be and then it will be, as you say, "worth the effort" and the results will follow.                                         Regards. Philip.

[HelenM]

Hi Dyinginside

The chest pains that take you to hospital sound like panic attacks. I'm sure there is advice on the site on how to handle this.

You are by no means alone as I'm sure you will see from reading posts on this site. By posting on here you will find support from people who know just how awful mental illness is.

Take care, Helen

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Dyinginside, 

Your story sounds remarkably like mine, I seemed to develop anxiety after having my first bubba. On and off I've struggled since then. 

I concur with all the above advice! 

I have an awesome Gp, who, at the start was seeing me three mornings a week, before work. She continues to see me once a week at this stage! She referred me to the psyciatrist at our base hospital (who were no charge). They sorted my medication, and gave suggestions, one of which to see a psycologist, which I am, on a health care plan! We are using CBT and acceptance therapy. 

I have also tried to make some lifestyle changes, like exercising, cutting down on caffiene , trying to get more sleep. 

I wonder weather any of these might benefit yourself. 

It is a hard journey but one that is possible! 

Keep us posted!