I want to know I’m not alone

[Simonecs89]

Hi everyone, my name is Simone, I’m a single mum of three and struggling with my anxiety. This is my first post here, a doctor I saw the other day recommended this website so I thought I’d check it out.

I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life, and I just turned 30 and it’s the worst it’s ever been. It’s got to the point where I’m feeling it almost every moment I’m awake. I’m struggling with doing basic things like walking to school and shopping. It’s bad when I’m waiting for things, like when my kids are doing their extra curricular activities and I’m waiting for them to finish. It’s like I feel trapped and that I have to sit in my anxiety. I still do things most of the time but the fear and that feeling of running back home where it’s safer is the hardest thing to feel. I’m feeling anxiety in my home too but I feel safer to feel it here. I don’t know what is causing my anxiety.

I want to talk about these symptoms I feel and I want to know that I’m not alone. Because I feel that nobody would ever understand how I’m feeling. I look around and it seems that everyone is carefree and able to go about their lives without this debilitating condition.

My heart races (the doctor said it’s my pulse?) and I feel like I can’t take a full breath in. Sometimes I’ll yawn just so I can take that breath. It’s like something is stopping me getting that deep breath. My breathing just isn’t normal. I have a fear of passing out (I’ve never passed out before) because I feel lightheaded and off from these symptoms. When I am out sometimes I have to rush home because I’m so scared and I feel like I’m going to fall over. Currently my chest is tight. Nothing helps this fear and I’ve turned to drinking to ease these feelings.

I struggle alone with anxiety and got off medication 10 years ago when I had my son. He helped me so much. I have a fear of the dentist and he told me to go to the dr to get anxiety medication. The doctor treated me as if I was a junkie, but I was just seeking help. This has reconfirmed how I feel with doctors and why I never sought help. I saw a dr last week because I was so bad but it will be a process and I don’t have high hopes for receiving the help I need.

I just want to feel that I’m not alone and there are other people who feel this. I hate that it’s stealing my days away and ruining beautiful moments. I just want to be me again and to stop feeling so controlled by anxiety.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Gosh, you're definitely not alone! Welcome 🙂 You'll find lots of people who have things in common with you here, and will sympathise. It can certainly be hard opening up to a GP, so I'm sorry you didn't have a great experience. I'm glad they led you here though. There's lots of info and people to chat to. As for your feeling of anxiety and home being a safe place, I get that. I went through a period where I couldn't leave my house. I sought help from my GP, who referred me to a lovely psychologist. Did you know you can get a referral under a mental health plan from your GP, and that entitles you to a number of "free" sessions? I still have anxiety, but I manage it much better than I did before. I also yoga, meditate, and make sure I take healing breaths during the day. I hope some of those things can help you. You're definitely not alone. It's a struggle and a journey. Take care x

[Samsonsam]

You are definitely not alone and even though others may look fine there are far more people with anxiety than you would expect. It's actually interesting how sometimes the people that you least expect end up opening up about their anxiety.

If you dont wish to go back on medication that is understandable but it's best to try deal with the anxiety whether through a psychologist or through meditation. Get help from family if you can make have them take the kids for a couple of days so you can have time to focus your thoughts.

Personally I find freezing cold showers in the morning helps me however I dont recommend that if you have a heart condition or suspect you do.

[geoff]

Hello Simone, welcome and thanks for coming to the forums.

It can be very difficult replying to your doctor when they ask you 'how can I help you', sometimes you freeze up, not knowing what to say or even how to approach the situation.

If you type in 'find a professional' in the top search bar it will come up with a list of doctors, who are aligned with Beyond Blue and mainly deal with any type of depression who maybe more suited to your needs.

Can I suggest that you write down all the concerns that are causing you to have anxiety, and I know each day it could be different, but that doesn't matter still include them, then when you see a caring doctor show them the list, this breaks the ice because there is a starting point.

To yawn just to take a deep breath is something I told my GP so he prescribes some medication which has helped me.

Being a single mum of 3 puts a great of responsibility on you, just as being left alone to raise these children, so I wonder whether it started there, although I'm not qualified to say, please have a look to find a doctor who can help you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Guest_6743]

You are definitely not alone. I know exactly how you feel. We just have to take it day by day. Sending hugs your way.

[CRW1985]

I myself probably suffered from anxiety from a young age but wasn't aware of it until my adult years. Years ago i started to just freak out no matter where I was and it would feel like i was dying and I'd have to get home as fast as possible and sit in the shower for ages. Thankfully my GP was great and prescribed me medication and it has helped dramatically.
It isn't a cure all though, and that's the reason I'm here, so you are definitely not alone.

[Eirenuu]

Hi Simone,

You are not alone. Trying to discuss the issues with a doctor can be really hard. I try and write down what I'm feeling and what's wrong so that when I choke up at least I can give them the paper.

I hope you find a gp that can help. It can be really helpful when you do.

[believe248]

You're not alone! I suffer from the same, i.e. when Im waiting, or when I feel trapped with my anxiety. I also have a fear of passing out. Unfortunately for me, I actually do pass out, so my fear has become worse.
Im going to give hypnotherapy a go this week to see if i can manage my fear.
I also look around on the train & think how is everyone else carefree & im an anxious mess. I guess if anyone looked at me they wouldnt know though as Ive become good at hiding it.
Thats why im so scared of passing out, because it draws attention.
Anyway i know i havent offered much in the way of advice but just wanted you to know you are not on your own !

[GregtheEgg]

Hi Simonecs89,

Like the others I want to say that you are not alone. Taking any step towards dealing with anxiety is really terrifying, and coming onto the forum and posting is really brave, especially when you're feeling vulnerable so congratulations.

I suffer from anxiety and know exactly what you are feeling. Especially feeling like you are trapped and have to sit in your anxiety, no matter where you are. It's so debilitating sometimes. I recently had a severe attack and after 1 year I am back on medication and seeing my GP and psychologist regularly. My GP has been amazing, and it really does make a difference because I've seen ones before who made me feel so self-conscious that I went away feeling worse.

I don't have have shortness of breath to the extent that you've described but I sometimes feel this. I often get the shakes and tingles when I'm feeling really anxious, and can't sit still and I feel like my mind is racing at 100 miles a minute. The medication helps, but it's daily work for me at this stage.

It's sounds cliche I know, but you will get through it and it does get better. You are not alone, and I am so glad that you reached out.