I've suffered from anxiety for what seems like my whole life

[Jasperw]

Hi, I'm Jasper, I'm new to this forum so I'd like to share some of my experiences.

I'm 25 years old and male. I've suffered from anxiety for what seems like my whole life, but it turned into "disorder" when I started having panic attacks back in highschool (around 2007). I have also suffered bouts of depression here and there but the anxiety has been the main concern. After I started having panic attacks I saw a GP and a therapist right away, but didn't try any medication cause I was told it would only offer temporary relief and I wasn't interested in that - I wanted to never have a panic attack again! I was dianosed with a combination of Panic Disorder and GAD (plus a bit of OCD and social anxiety thrown in for good measure!). The therapist introduced me to CBT, Mindfulness meditation and breathing techniques, but while I know these things can be effective I was so caught up at the time in trying to prevent my anxiety that I tried to use these things as a preventive measure to combat anxiety, which of course just made it all much worse and i because even more anxious when I discovered these things couldn't prevent anxiety attacks (not that they can't help fix them in the long term). So after trying and trying and failing and failing I gave up all hope of recovery  lived with my condition without seeking any further help for many years, until I saw a doctor who gave me some meds. It was good to talk to someone again, so I eventually saw another therapist, then a different one. Then I started reading books. But I didn't really start to feel a lot better until I found a therapist who taught me some really groundbreaking ideas.  The material he used goes by different names (belief system therapy, effective counselling, the fountainhead method), but it's all about looking deep at the many beliefs you hold which are governing how you are looking at life. It has helped me see things much clearer, but recovery will be a long process as I have spent many years having severe panic attacks daily. I joined this forum because I thought it might be helpful for me to interact with other people who might have experienced something similar, and maybe offer some of the things I have learnt.

All the best,

Jasper

PS (sorry for length I might have got carried away)

[White_Rose]

Dear Jasper

Hello and welcome to beyond Blue. Thank you for your post and no worries about the length. BB limit the number of characters you can use to stop people writing War and Peace.

It's sad that you tried to manage this illness for so long on your own but great that you are now comfortable with your current therapist and feel you are making progress. I think that's the greatest problem with mental illnesses, the recovery time. Oh for an antibiotic equivalent.

While my problem is mostly depression/PTSD I also experience some anxiety and panic attacks, some of them being doozies. I have a therapist who is fairly cynical about CBT and I suspect he has some good grounds for this. I practice meditation and a little mindfulness and find it all very helpful. But I think it's true that it is horses for courses. Meditation is good for me but not everyone has the same result.

I am interested in your therapist's approach and would love to know more about it, or where I can read more about it. Having gone through a very difficult 5-6 weeks I believe I am on the way up again so looking for all the help I can get.

It is good to hear that you have a brighter outlook on life.

Mary

[rayofsunshine123]

Hey Jasper!

thats really good that you are thinking positive! I'm exactly the same as you, I've suffered anxiety for ages and I have had panic attacks, but with mine it's more avoiding things and I get really shaky and sweaty palms and this weird 'bruising' sensation in my toes. I'm really happy you joined the forum and would love to chat with you anytime:)

love Elle xxoox

[Jasperw]

Hi Mary,

 Good to hear from you. Yes a magic pill would be wonderful haha. I have a friend with PTSD, not fun at at all, glad you found meditation to work. I find meditation quite helpful now but it never did much for me in the past.

 If you are interested about the information I have been taught I'll give you some keywords to search for:

"Greg Neville" "Fountainhead Retreat" "Just Think Change" "Jayden Raye" "28 days to beat the blues"

OR on youtube: "Greg Neville" "Depression Rescue"

All of this comes from the work of Greg Neville from the Anti-Depression Institute. He is a mind-body connection expert, and all of his ideas are based on years of clinical investigation. He has trained many hundreds of therapist so hence the variety of places his work can be found. I think the Depression rescue program is great because it's all free on youtube (all 35 modules of the program!)

Hope you find it helpful.

Jasper

[Jasperw]

Hey Elle!

Thanks for your reply. It's not fun isn't it? I know what you mean I have had all sorts of weird unpleasant sensations, and definitely done some avoiding. If your interested have a look at the things in my post above. I will definitely come on this forum from time to time so look forward to chatting further!

Jasper

[rayofsunshine123]

Hey Jasper,

hope you are getting better:) my anxiety has recently gotten worse and I have seen someone who told me to distract myself& it will go better, such as relaxing music and colouring in& long walks on the beach etc.

you should definitely check out 'if you have Spotify' 

I think its called becvar healing music or something:) and also check out these colouring books for mindfulness (complicated patterns: but not graphic and they take a good hour) while listen to the music:) 

tell me how you go.

elle xx