It has always been said that I have anxiety (earlier in life I was diagnosed with having an anxiety disorder). However as I am getting older I find I am having these funny control patterns. I need to plan order of events, times / dates...and need to do things straight away as soon as I think of them. Eg, if I am at work and find I need to make a call about something I want to organise I become anxious if I can't do it straight away, and have this feeling I am going to miss out on the only opportunity to make this call. I do silly things like having to check that my front door is locked properly 3 times before I leave the house, even when I can see I locked it properly. I worry that randomly the oven has been left on when it clearly hasn't. I also need to check my car door a few times to see if it's locked properly when I can see the first time it's locked. I fear if I don't do these checking things there will be some kind of 'explosion' or catastrophe. I also often randomly worry that I will lose my job or my lease will be ended abruptly for no reason. For example I fear strange things like if my lease runs out, before it's renewed in that short interim period I will lose my job and become destitute. Like if I lose one thing, all of the rest of my life will come crushing down - like something is punishing me.
I also now struggle with driving on the freeway, the merging of changing lanes overwhelms me and at times I've felt I'm bordering on having a panic attack. 5 years ago this never happened to me.
Having said all of this this stuff doesn't take over my whole life, I still get by and can work through this stuff, I just find it really odd. This funny control stuff is probably about 10% of my life. I currently see a psychologist, however I don't feel she is the right fit for this kindof stuff.
Is this more the kindof thing you'd see a psychiatrist for? Looking for help and answers.
I find it very difficult to just move with the flow of life.
