I need someone to talk to...

[Lyla_429]

So I'll start off by saying that I have never been formally diagnosed with anxiety, depression or an eating disorder, Mainly because I have been too scared to see a psychologist for more than 3 sessions.

So... I don't know if this is common problem people on this thread have but I can't handle not having someone to talk to on a near constant basis. I've recently split from my long term partner, mainly because he could not handle my constant need for validation and I don't blame him for that. But it has only been a few days and I feel like I'm going stir crazy, I feel like if I don't have any outlet at all it will all just build up inside me and Ill start having panic attacks again. I know I'm not ready for another relationship and I wouldn't even know how to begin one at this point, I have such little self confidence and I can't imagine ever being attractive to someone... I know I have to address these feelings before I can begin a healthy relationship but I don't know how to do cope without someone to be with. I just feel so unhealthy both mentally and physically, I have no ability to connect with my family on these issues as they don't believe in mental illness and I have such limited friends that I don't want to scare them away with my neediness. I have no idea where to even start with this, I feel so lost and alone constantly. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't recognize my own face anymore, most days I feel like my body and my mind are 2 separate entities inhabiting the same space. I'm trying hard to keep my uni and work life afloat but it seems meaningless, every time I go to type something I feel empty and unmotivated. I don't know if I'm even in the right place to be voicing this but if anyone has been through something like this please please let me know so I don't feel like it's just me

[Billyc]

Hi Lyla,

quick note to say I’m about to read your post, and will respond.. hang in there..

[Billyc]

Hi Lyla,

welcome, your in the perfect place..

This is a safe place where there is no judgement, just a bunch of warm and kind souls who carry a burden of their own. Each unique with their experiences, but you will be amazed at how you can relate to them the more you read and share with everyone.

Welldone for reaching out,

Im sorry you are dealing with a break up.. they are hard, I went through one 3 and half years ago, and found myself in a very similar space that you are in now. I found it very hard to be on my own, and came across needy and helpless many times..

My anxiety was through the roof.. their were moments at work where I was heading a meeting and I couldn’t put two words together.

you really are in the trenches aren’t you? Maybe avoid mirrors for a while until you start wanting to remember what you look like again and how positive you used to be.

Is this situation affecting work?

It helps to sit with a GP, they can help you to begin with.

Support for me is the big one, not just for you, but supporting of others aswell.. it’s a welcome distraction from your own sorrows..

Ive been here a little while and found empowerment in sharing kind words to others while others have been supporting me.

Most importantly, you are not alone.

there are many here that are alone with you!

What are you studying at uni?

[Brookenicole]

Just reading you kindness and caring to another person is easing my anxiety just a little right now and I really needed that thank you Billy.

lyla I’m so sorry to hear about your situation but you are definitely not alone. I’m just discovering there is so many people on here that want to talk and help you when you’re in situations where no one else feels like they can

[Belinda1986]

Hi

sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time

i think you should see a psychologist on an ongoing basis as scary as it is. You could also see if there are any support groups in your area for anxiety so you can connect with other people. Plus you can also call the beyond blue helpline any time you need - I’ve found this really helpful when I’m feeling alone.

good luck 🙂

[Lyla_429]

Hi Billy

Thank you for replying, for a while I wasn't sure if anyone would. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in these struggles and that there are many people out there who deal with this. Your words have brought me comfort so thank you so much for sharing them. I know this is a long road ahead but I'm glad I reached out now. To answer your questions, I try to avoid mirrors but this is something I've felt ever since I was little, it's just amplified now, I've been told it could be body dysmorphia but not by anyone professional. It is affecting my work life, it's hard to find confidence. I work in an animal emergency clinic I feel like I'm making mistakes all the time and I'm letting my other nurses and patients down. I found it so hard to even get out of bed this morning. I'm currently studying to become a vet nurse and it's something I'm really passionate about, I've been doing really well at my studies up until this point but now I have an assignment that's late and the guilt and disappointment in myself is eating away at me but every time I go to write I can't think straight. I've already dropped out of another uni course due to depression and anxiety but I really don't want to lose my position in this course. I just don't know where to start with finding a psychologist, I've been to few throughout my life but I've never really connected with one or felt like it made anything better.

[Billyc]

Hi Brooke,

its a powerful place to be, I wa las broken two months ago.. staying on hear and listening to other stories and occasionally providing support when I can has brought me back along way.. I accept that this is going to be part of me for the rest of my life. Thanks for your kind words I joe your well.

Hi Lyla,

theres always people here willing to support others. I have found in my short time here incredibly helpful.

If I may say, don’t be so hard on yourself. Uni is naturally a high pressured environment, and on top of that your working, so stop for a second, and pat yourself on the back..it’s not like school where you are spoon fed by teachers. You have to do it on your own. So well done on what you have achieved so far!

I can only imagine the help you have provided animals in distress over your career to date, and im guessing none of these animals have said “thankyou” have they?

(got to have a sense of humour in life albeit mine are generally dad jokes)

you have a passion and that’s a massive tick! If you stumble occasionally so be it. It does get very hard sometimes I am with you..very very hard.

I did a 5 year fulltime course at uni and I literally crawled across the line in 6 and a half years.. by the time I got my degree, all my friends bought houses, cars, got married and had kids.. my first graduate position was statiscally the second Lowest paid wage in the tertiary educated system.. but you do it for the love of it.. I deal with depression, and I am crippled sometimes with anxiety.. these past few years perhaps the worst I’ve felt, which is why I went looking for a safe place to be, and it’s here, and I’m glad your here too!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's not just you! My anxiety has killed my relationship and I'm in the same headspace as you. I don't know how helpful it is to know that. But I should be doing my uni work and I'm just sitting here crying and getting nothing done. I have a really supportive psychologist that I've been seeing for many years. I don't know what i'd do without her. You need to shop around a bit to find someone you connect with. I just wish I could see mine more often. Especially now when I'm feeling so lost and down. There are also people you can talk to at uni. That might help if you're getting behind. Sorry things aren't going well for you. You're not alone though.