I’m worried that maybe I’m a narcissist

[StrayDetective]

I don’t want to self diagnose myself or anything, but for a while now I’ve seemed to do anything just to get attention. I’ve pictured myself getting sick or injured and people would be worried and pay attention to me. I know it just makes me sound self obsessed, which I don’t want to be, but I can’t help thinking that maybe I am. I’ll admit I can be quite the compliment shark, seeking praise whenever I can get it. I have picked up on this recently and have tried to pay more attention to it to make sure I’m not acting all ‘high and mighty’.

As for why I act the way I do, always wanting to be noticed, I’m not sure.

when I was six years old my sister was born and being the only child for some time may have left it’s mark on me, but I was always very independent. I would get jealous like any sibling would, but I don’t know how that could explain this.

I tend to shy away from the spotlight yet at the same time I am desperate to be noticed. I am not particularly humble and have never taken critical feedback well. Maybe I’m too prideful? I don’t know. But I honestly feel like such a self obsessed narcissist and I hate it. Whenever my friends get praise or are talking, I seem to get annoyed, like everything is a competition. I tell myself “It’s not about you!” Which I know, yet I still have the urge to jump in. I hate it.

[StevenK]

No, your just a victim like many who have been brought up in a not so encouraging environment. We are a product of our enviroment

Your seeking attention validation and self worth from others because you probably never have gotten real love as a kid, so what we do is we hustle for attention as a substitute for feeling love,

slso when we are in pain we are very self absorbed. so my friend it’s up to us to learn how to feel love. The good news is it comes from inside. You can totally learn to love yourself. When you love your self, you also like attention but it’s not to make you feel better. It’s natural.

so you must become the person you need most. Meaning you have to go through a internal journey of building and fixing your self esteem And beliefs about yourself.

stsrt with a book called the power of now. By eckhart tolle,

stsrt reading self development books. The way to change is by giving yourself positive messages from books. We have to change our thinking for our feelings to change.

love is free, the way to get it, is to give it.. yes stsrt putting out good karma. Celebrate others when they get praise. We have to work on our insecurities and fears, that’s how you gain real love and the good kind of attention

I suffered very horrifically with trying to get attention, took me a lot of years to figure out my own issues. I would even get involved in fights to earn attention, we do stupid things.

so yes basically your challenge is learning how to love yourself. When a child doesn’t get shy love they look for it in all the wrong places

and that’s how people become criminals as well. They learn to live in fear instead of love.

having self compassion, being kind, believe me I know what it’s like to be a people pleaser. But start doing things for yourself, excersising, reading, listening to motivation tapes.

you have to feed your self with good experiences in order to change your future

[StevenK]

Also my friend, make sure you use your resources. Meaning hire a life coach. Believe me that money will transform you if you have someone to learn from. We have to unlearn our conditioning and change our belief system. Every single human has a incredible potential. Every human is born the same, it’s not true that some are lucky and some are not.

it’s all about changing our beliefs. By changing our attitude. You have to change your point of karma power.

Be the person you need, be the good you want to see in the world, you must work on yourself. When you do. One day everybody will admire you. For growing and choosing to become a new person.

the brain is meant to change and it follows the mind. Who we are can change. All about love baby.

[Banksy92]

Hi StrayDetective,

I just wanted to add some thoughts here too, although I can see you have already got some really great advice and perspectives.

Rather than thinking of these needs as narcissism, I would argue it reflects a need for validation. Something we can all have to varying degrees. But also something that can be a strong force behind our behaviour.

If you struggle at all with low self-esteem, the urge for validation from others can be overwhelming. I have experienced this a lot in my life. While I don't strive for the spot light, in the past I have felt incredibly competitive and set high goals for myself to gain approval/praise from others. In my darkest moments, my mind has also jumped to wishing I was sick or injured because it would make people pay attention and want to treat me better. Ultimately through therapy I discovered it was routed in a need validation and low self-worth.

Is this something you can relate to at all?

For the last few years I have learned to quiet this voice in my mind and push away this behaviour. I practice self-love and self-care as much as possible and continue therapy to break the cycle. I am a work in progress but can see there is a way to overcome it with support and self awareness.