I’m worried I’m manipulative

[Athena_00]

I have autism and really bad anxiety. I have also been feeling lots of mood swings of sadness and emptiness. I told my school counselor and they said I should look into treating symptoms of depression. I told my mum what they said and she said that I probably just choose to stay in a bad mood. I sometimes also come home from school early because I’m not feeling okay and I can’t really explain it. My mum tells me I’m manipulating her to try and get out of school by crying and faking sadness. She says she sees me happy and laughing sometimes so I can’t be depressed.
I don’t know what to say when she tells me this and I am definitely not trying to be manipulative, I just want help but I don’t know what type of help because I have no explanation for the things I feel. Do I continue telling her my feelings? Do I ask for days off school when I’m feeling overwhelmed? Am I being manipulative? What do I do?

[jaz28]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear you are going through this. It is never fun when people invalidate your feelings. Depression is real and if a counsellor has recommended you undergo treatment then that is important to note.

Your mum might not ever understand depression due to societal stigma. You are NOT being manipulative.

Can you keep seeing your counsellor? Could your counsellor or school reach out to your mum and explain everything from a professional perspective? Can you see your GP, with or without your mum to get a referral to a psychologist?

I hope things improve soon but please do not let anyone invalidate your feelings.

all the best,

jaz xx

[Croix]

Dear Athena_00~

I'm afraid that sometimes parents need to be brought up to speed on what happens to people with autism, anxiety and depression.

No, it does not necessary mean you are always in a realy dark place, mood swings do happen. Plus at times you do need to retreat, and if that means coming home early or missing a day that can be OK.

Jaz has made good suggestions, continuing to see your councilor and maybe getting the councilor, or a doctor to explain that you are not trying to manipulate - you are in genuine need.

I'd also suggest something else to do, and that is talk - more than once if you like - with the Kids Help Line. They are very used to situations such as yours, make practical and understanding suggestions, give advice and support. They'll let you know the sensible things to do

You can either call them on 1800 55 1800 or web-chat (which some people prefer) on:

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

It's difficult by yourself without a parent who at the moment is not as understanding as they should be. Hopefully between councilor, doctor or the Kid's Help Line this can be sorted out so you can do what you need without argument.

If you are not doing so already it may well be you end up seeing a doctor -not a bad thing. Anything that might make you feel better is worth a try.

We do care, please let us know how you go

Croix

[Athena_00]

Thank you for your advice and support. I greatly appreciate it 🙂

I will definitely try to talk to my counsellor more about what’s going on

[geoff]

Hello Athena, how can you explain how you are feeling to your mum when she doesn't believe you at all, you can't.

People can pretend to be happy around others even though they are depressed, but as soon as they are by themselves, they collapse and breakdown.

Ask your mum if she can take you to the family doctor, then ask her to leave you alone with the GP so you can explain how you are feeling, then the doctor can tell your mum what's going on, if this comes from a doctor then your mum will pay more attention.

Good luck.

Geoff.