I’m so horribly unattractive

[PsychedelicFur]

I’m so horribly unattractive.

my toxic ex told me I was a ‘6/10’ and ‘plus size’ and embarrassing looking. That is why he showed me photos of other women in bikinis.

I’m that unattractive that he lost interest in me and started treating me like garbage. I know deep and meaningful relationships are not based off looks but he made me believe that I wasn’t very good looking. Even though I have had people, strangers come up to me, hundreds of time and compliment my eccentric clothing or my long wavy ginger hair.

he said to me once ‘you’re looks don’t matter anyway because you are only a 6/10.’

I’m starting to believe what he said about me. ☹️😢😭 please give some suggestions or advice.

many thanks,

lots of love,

PF.

[PsychedelicFur]

I hope you are ok Sleepy21.
Thanking you for the response. Appreciate it.

[PsychedelicFur]

My friend and I make news reports about real life issues and experiences. I filmed a video yesterday because we had to do a live crossover and I had to be in the clip. I look back at the clip and my face looks disgustingly round. My nose is big. I have smile frowns, I look really bloody pitiful. I’m in despair. 😭😭😭🥺 so angry. I don’t like my face much. Grrr

[PsychedelicFur]

Saw a video of myself recently. My face was so disgustingly round in it. I’m so sad 😞 My doctors tell me I am not fat. But I am just so confused. I don’t know if I am attractive or not..

😞 😞 oh well. Silly BDD

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear PF....

Like you I don’t like my face, nor my hair or teeth...plus I do not like my body as I’m overweight... Does it really matter though?..

My brother was a career for a thalidomide child of the 60s...he had a lot of disfigures...and he had so many friends that truely liked him and looked past all his physical appearances ....He had no ear and half his face was paralysed...these were just a couple of things that he lived with until he passed away earlier this year....I met him a number of times when my brother brought him to mine so they both could have a break from theirs home......What I noticed and loved about him was his beautiful heart and his very precious giving soul....I learnt a lot from this beautiful soul...So very many people that knew him are still morning his passing....

In reality..it’s really only us who down ourselves for our looks...The people we meet in our lives, don’t fall in love or start a friendship based on our looks....Friendships are formed and built mainly on a person’s personality and attitude towards each other.....I mean let’s say..a girl that looks amazingly beautiful, could have a heart of stone and be very lonely because of her personality and attitude towards others..

Please lovely Psychedelic Fur...Be gentle on yourself and let that inner beauty shine...because that’s what is more important then the way we look...

Kind thoughts lovely lady...and a caring hug if you like them..🤗.

Grandy..

[Goldwing03]

Hi PsychedelicFur,

You will not believe how much I can relate to everything that you have just said. I've personally been dealing with a similar situation! And I know from personal experience that feeling unattractive or not appreciated for your style or a certain way that you express yourself is the WORST feeling in the world. When I'm having a rough time, I always remind myself that my worth is not defined by my appearance and that someone who truly values and appreciates me will be able to love my mind, compassion and vibrant personality.

It's also important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and remind you of how incredibly beautiful you are. When someone makes you feel insecure, it's very easily to believe them, but then CONTINUE to surround yourself with toxic people because you are seeking out the company that you believe you deserve.

Just want to remind you that you deserve to feel loved and beautiful and precious. Take care of yourself 🙂

[Goldwing03]

Hey Psychedelic Fur!

I want you to think about your body in the following way:

Your body is the medium through which you experience life! Your body is what let's you to hug somebody, to float in a pool, to eat juicy apples, to kiss someone, to breathe and walk every single day!

I know that seeing a picture or video of yourself that you don't like can be hard- I've felt this exact same thing so many times. But when I practice gratitude for all the ways in which my body helps me survive and function, I always feel a little bit better!

Everything that you feel is valid. Be kind to yourself and try to remember all the good things that your body lets you do!

[PsychedelicFur]

Good morning everyone,

today my cousin (who introduced me to my ex boyfriend) wants to do zoom games night with my family. I’m feeling a little worried... because of my Body Dysmorphia. Plus when I was with my ex he would constantly talk about how ‘gorgeous’ and ‘stunning’ and ‘talented’ she was. And I was a 6/10, plus -size and embarrassing looking. And it infuriates me. And I feel so insignificant around her. And my other cousin’s girlfriend had a ‘sexy butt’ according to my ex. And now every time I see her I feel not as ‘sexy’ or ‘attractive’ as her. Even though he was objectifying her..

aaah BDD!

[Goldwing03]

OMG i can relate so much! Zoom calls have stressed me out so much for the exact same reason!

I think it's important to remember that nobody is looking at you in the same way that you look at yourself and that most of the time people are too absorbed in their own thoughts and the moment to pay such detailed attention to somebody else's appearance.

Try not to compare yourself to other girls (Easier said than done I know!) but you deserve to feel beautiful 🙂

[Croix]

Dear PsF~

The plain truth of the matter is my avatar is not a faithful reproduction of me (though admittedly there is some resemblance). I'm sure you are not surprised to read this.

I doubt you would be surprised to know that in Real Life™ there are people that look less attractive than me and some who look more attractive. That's life. There was always one gun who was faster in the wild west.

I'm luckier than you. I've never had anyone that systematically trained my thoughts to compare myself unfavorably with others -so if Arnie is more attractive than me (doubtful of course:) I lose no sleep over it.

I guess you can try to acknowledge that some people in the world may be good looking, no harm in that really - but try also to have anger in your heart that your ex made you think in terms of you not being as good.

You talked of objectifying -and you were quite right. However you to are doing it -both to others and yourself, that's how you have been trained. I suggest you try to see the real person underneath in the same way you might like another to see you.

Please go and Zoom, and let that anger sustain you

Possible do you think?

Croix (who does see the real you)

[PsychedelicFur]

I attended the zoom meeting, huzzah!! How are you Croix? What have you been up to lately? I like ya picture.. it reminds me of the Walrus from Lennon-McCartney tracks haha.

And I saw my cousin with her new partner today. It pains me. Not that she has someone - because that is great and I am really happy for her. And she deserves to be treated like the goddess she is. It just pains me in the sense of - I wanted my ex to be the person I hoped he would be, when I first met him- he seemed so charming and personable. Sometimes I miss him. Tonight I am being a little sentimental. Like I am currently listening to Mental As Anything, Split Enz and Cold Chisel.. those were bands we would sometimes listen to.. together. FYI I love Reg Mombassa artwork!!!! BIG FAN.
I’m not listening to those particular bands though because of him.. I just thoroughly enjoy the songs.. always have, even before I ever met him I listened to them on a constant loop. And I always will love these songs. They bring me an enormous amount of pleasure!

And then after all of the sentimental emotions have passed... I think .. he caused most of this pain. I wish he was the way he was when we first met, the Love bombing phase.

I just wanted to hold him and be there for him. He was just so horrible to me. So mean. It sucks though.

life goes on though.. 🌞🌞