Hello all. Hope you are all well.
Body dysmorphia is a truly debilitating and crippling psychological struggle. It’s something I would not even wish on my own worst enemy. I’m tired of attempting to explain to others who don’t fully understand nor comprehend what it’s like for those individuals who suffer with this disorder. I’m especially tired of people saying ‘oh it’s all in your head’ or ‘you are just fishing for compliments.’
It’s an isolating disorder because I DON’T see what others around me see. And I’m tired of people not understanding what I mean. Despite the pandemic, even if I could go out, by choice to parties and clubs, I probably wouldn’t because I have really crippling social anxiety as well as BDD. I have a few really excellent days were I feel on top of the world and then I have days were I try so hard to motivate myself to make it through the day, I really push myself. I want people who have BDD to understand that it’s a really difficult and especially traumatic thing to deal with. And yes, I know because I am dealing with it, first hand. Also that their voices, experiences, struggles and stories are all just equally valid and are all so very important as mine.
I fear gaining part time employment at the moment because I know, deep down, that my BDD would terminate my chances of potentially getting promoted in a job. I am still only young and yes I am aware that having BDD and working sounds like an ultimate recipe for a disaster but still at the same time I am studying and that is already hard enough as it is.
Yes my ex partner was really psychologically and verbally abusive towards me but at the same time I feel like BDD does jeopardise and sabotage a lot of relationships. One good thing it did though was help me recognise that he was an individual with some deeply buried burdens and demons too.
PF.
