I just want to feel better

[Bluey_moon]

Hi guys, 

I'm just having a rough time at the moment and it's scaring me! 

As you guys that have read my posts before know, I've been diagnosed with GAD and obsessive thinking. 

My current obsession is a fear I'm getting scizophrenia! (Before it has been ms, melanoma, bi-polar, you name it, I've thought I've had it). 

So, at the moment my sleep has been awful, it that light dream state, I've been having weird thoughts and it scares me. 

Last night my mind was racing! As per normal. But as I was thinking/ half asleep, I swear in my mind I saw a lady saying to me  my thought. Well it freaked me out! I was like, that's it I'm hearing voices, seeing things. I'm going nuts! 

This obsession has been going on a while! I've been to see a psych, a psycologist and am on an SSRI. 

I have to admit though, this week, I have been having 2-3 alcohol drinks a day (we are on holiday). and loads of caffiene! 

Im scared my husband says I'm destroying myself and my family! 

[MisterM]

I can relate to what you're going through Bluey moon.
I have suffered from health anxiety for years, it's been better lately as I am on meds.
I used to be sure I had cancer's of different kinds over the years that it plagued my mind and caused me distress.
I would avoid the caffeine and alcohol as they cause me anxiety issues.
I hope this storm passes for you soon.

[Scotchfinger]

My guess is that you don't have schizophrenia, especially due to your insight.

[Mummybee]

Hi Skye,

Sounds like youre having a rough patch at the moment. Do you think the alcohol/caffine and holiday are all adding to this? Sometimes a change of scenery can be a good thing, sometimes it can do the opposite.

You know you don't have Schizophrenia, you have been told by the professionals that you don't. Everyones mind is different. Thinking someone is telling you your thoughts doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, so to speak, except your anxiety pulls it out and amplifies it. You know this though, and I know its sometimes hard to remember. So im reminding you.

You're ok, Skye. Youre anxiety might be threatening your family, but other mental issues aren't.

Breathe, accept your anxiety and keep going forward.

And happy holidays!

Mummybee

[Chicken_Wings]

Skye I know you're scared, but like Mummybee said, thinking someone is saying something to you does not mean you have schizophrenia. I have entire conversations in my head sometimes, it's not abnormal, it's not schizophrenia. 

I think it's right to cut out the caffeine and alcohol, it won't be helping right now. If you are feeling stressed or scared there are other things you can do to calm yourself. If it's a nice day go for a walk, turn on some fun music or watch a movie. If you have an iPad or something play a fun little game that engages your mind.

have you tried making a plan for each day. So you know what you're going to do and don't have down time where you leave your mind to wander? Getting out and doing things will also tire you and hopefully help with sleeping.

you can do this Skye.

[Bluey_moon]

Thank you everyone for your replies! 

Your encouragement and advice really helps! 

Last night I went for a moonlit beach walk with my husband. During the day, we caught a movie, and went to the beach and played bored games with family!

it helped immensly! 

[Dwwmills]

Hi Skye.

I’m sorry you’re going through a bit of a tough patch. Seems
to be the way of things with anxiety you get on top of it and then it sneaks up
on you.

I’m glad you connected in with some people. I generally find
that connecting in with people and being involved helps me immensely when I’m
feeling a bit down or anxious. Paradoxically it’s usually the last thing I
really feel like doing. I don’t know if it’s having to talk to somebody gets me
outside of my head or having to pretend and act like I’m doing okay eventually
turns into me feeling okay. Intellectually I know this but it doesn’t make it
any easier to call a friend and arranged for something to do.

It’s interesting that you mention that alcohol may be
causing some problems. I think it affects me that way as well. I enjoy a glass
of wine with a meal occasionally and have noticed I can feel a bit flat the
next day. Originally I thought it was some sort of interaction with the SSRI I
was taking but I’ve been off them for three months and still have the same
reaction to alcohol at times. Luckily I can go for weeks without alcohol but it’s
nice to be able to have some with a meal occasionally.

Seeing visions and hearing sounds when you’re in the half
asleep/ half awake state is pretty normal. It’s just the way our brains work.
It also seems very real at the time. If you can try and remember this when it
happens next time it may be helpful.

Keep at it you are tougher than your anxiety and you will
get on top of it eventually.

I hope things are going better for you now.

Cheers Dean

[blondguy]

Hi Bluey Moon

You are not suffering from Schizophrenia. My brother had it and with that you would never be able to have the strength to post anything. The anxiety does slow down after a while and while I like a coffee...I do like a beer and will have one after working hard for one. I have GAD and and now Agoraphobia which is weird but working on it....day by day. Your quality of sleep is definitely not good. It might not mean much but (and it doesnt work for everyone) caffeine in the morning...no problem.....and as you know the alcohol can be a pain with a mind that races...but if you can manage some quiet time (without a cell phone) a couple of hours before you go to bed it may help with getting a decent sleep. Anyhow you have the same visions, anxiety and health concerns that I have had.....doesnt make it any better but all I do know is its temporary 🙂

Kind Thoughts
Paul

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Dean, 

thank you for your kind advice again. 

Everything you say makes perfect sense! 

I will definitely try and remember what you said about the awake/sleep state! 

My psych also believes my anxious state is creating problems with my sleep, then that creates problems ect. 

i will beat this, I know. And I want to. My oldest daughter suffers some anxiety too and I want her to know she can beat it! 

Kind regard

skye

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Paul

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me! 

You provided great reassurance and some great ideas. I am very addicted to my cell phone which I know is a bad thing! 

Im glad you are winning the battle with your anxiety! 

I am sorry your brother had such a battle! 

Skye