I I think I have accidentally made myself bad at my job

[jcjc06]

I've been employed at a cafe for approximately three months, and overall, my performance has been pretty good, especially considering my limited experience compared to my colleagues. The managers/ owners have consistently expressed their satisfaction, praising me for being 'switched on' and even surprising me with cash bonuses on multiple occasions. However, recently, I've noticed an increase in my mistakes, and I believe it's linked to a self-fulfilling prophecy I have created for myself. When I make a simple error and receive feedback, I tend to dwell on it, overshadowing the positive feedback and compliments I've received. This focus on the negatives has led to heightened nervousness about work, and I've started viewing myself as an inadequate worker prone to avoidable mistakes. This mindset even extends to my personal time, where I find myself contemplating self-punishment for the day's errors. At one point, I considered returning the cash bonuses, convinced I didn't deserve them and had let down my employers.

How do I stop these thoughts? How do I stop making these dumb mistakes? How do I stop letting myself down? This is really impacting my mental health, work is all I can think about it, I can't help but look up the cafe on Google just to make sure there are no bad reviews.

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[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Dwelling is very common among those with mental health issues and although you are unlikely to have any dwelling is common among bipolar and those under the autism spectrum as I found out recently after being told my symptoms I've had lifelong could be attributed to that.

So, some of us here are not unfamiliar. Have sought therapy several times for issues, dwelling and intrusive thoughts was something I didnt think was avoidable- it certainly is. Without treatment life can become upsetting and serious as you have posted here demonstrating just that.

So, allowing your mind to dictate thinking about work after hours isnt good. There is a core of thought processes that are unrealistic and I was taught how to avoid them of swing away from them when they arrive uninvited.

• Take up a hobby/passion so your mind is better focussed
• Change your environment immediately those thought arrive, just a walk to the letterbox can be enough.
• Tell yourself "that isnt real". Eg when you think about returning your bonuses. After all they havent asked for them back!
• Joke with management "I messed up there guys, so sorry, ruined my clean record again... but I love you guys"
• Accept that mistakes mean you are human and only humans make them. If you want perfection it comes in the form of robots
• Be kind to yourself. Become your best friend, pat yourself on the back
• Take 5 seconds to think, plan and avoid those easy mistakes. 5 seconds is affordable at work.
• If you make a mistake with a customer- apologise immediately, as they say "nip it in the bud", that helps contain it.

This link might help.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/who-cries-over-spilt-milk/td-p/43088

I hope that helps. We can be our own worse enemy.

TonyWK

[Dee2024]

Hi there,

I can relate to your concern as I also get stuck in negative thoughts where I never used to.

The only thing I can suggest is that you try whatever you can to dislodge these thoughts as over time they dominate your life, I  speak from experience.

I assume there are people better qualified than me to help you with that on this forum and wish you every success to overcome your challenges.