I don't have a firm grip on reality

[cloudy_days]

Hi everyone,

About a month ago I smoked some weed (was not my first time) and had a terrible reaction. I entered a never ending loop and believed that I was going to be stuck in that loop forever. I also somehow convinced myself that the loop was a representation of life and that we are living in a simulation.

I know, it sounds crazy.. but now that I am sober I am still feeling similar feelings of being in a loop. I often freak out and feel like I'm stuck in a loop again and it makes me feel like I am detached from reality and that reality might not be real. I find that my anxiety peaks when it's at night time or I'm about to sleep because I'm not sleeping very well. I have booked in for a psychologist next week but I'm struggling right now and would greatly appreciate any advice. Thank you.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi cloudy days,

I hope it’s okay for me to extend a very gentle and warm welcome to you to the forums here...you sound like you’ve been having a rough time. I get that you’re feeling on edge, anxious and perhaps even fearful at times...

The bad reaction you had sounds very intense. I feel it must be so nerve racking and stressful to feel like you’re still in the loop...not being able to shake that feeling is very rough and unsettling...

I’m glad you have booked an appointment with a psychologist and hope that goes well. In the mean time, I can offer some suggestions and you can see what you think of them...

I was thinking you might like to give the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline a call. It’s a confidential service and maybe you can ask them for info, coping strategies, refer you to additional services, etc. They are endorsed by the government as part of their National Drug Campaign. If you’re interested, you should be able to find their number if you look it up online.

Also, you might be interested in a thread on the BeyondBlue forums called Self help tips for managing anxiety. It contains contributions by various members on managing anxiety. Although it’s not specific to managing anxiety related to drug use, there might still be general tips than you might find helpful.

The thread can be found either by typing “self help tips for managing anxiety” in the BeyondBlue search bar of by visiting the Anxiety forums where it is pinned to the top.

Good on you for reaching out and writing your first post here. Feel free to write as often as you like.

That said, there’s no pressure or rush to write but if you do find writing here helpful, just know that the option is there of course. I feel there are many compassionate and caring people here on the forums who would want to try their best to support you...

Kindness and warmth,

Pepper

[cloudy_days]

Thanks Pepper I really appreciate you replying 🙂

[Guest_294]

Hi Cloudy Days,

So I have never smoked weed before myself and in that respect I think Pepper's advice is really great to follow through with. I also think it's great that you've decided to see a psychologist and I don't know if that has happened yet or will happen soon, but either way I hope it is a great success or at least offers you some hope or ideas for progression.

My contribution here is I can understand to an extent the feeling of being detached from reality. Some time ago I began experiencing a symptom of anxiety/panic attacks called derealisation. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it can manifest itself in many different ways for many different people. For me, I sometimes experience a period of what I like to call 'story time', in which a brief period of my life feels like it has been told as a story and I am seeing it through the lense of someone else's experience. I'll lose touch with where I am and feel like the world isn't quite real and i'm just remembering it. In addition, I frequently view the world like it has been painted. Everything around me almost feels like I am in a film set - buildings in the distance look like cardboard backdrops, the sky looks like someone painted it with a paintbrush. For me that part is not so terrifying, and more a beautiful way to view the world through the distorted lense of my own anxiety.

My point is, whilst I have not experienced quite what you have, I do understand what it feels like to feel detached from reality, and I wanted to present the solutions I have in place as something you might try if these feelings persist. My two most effective solutions are sensory collections and removal. Your psych may talk to you about sensory but it's essentially a way to reestablish that connection with reality. I find 5 things i can see, 4 things i can touch, 3 things i can hear, 2 things i can smell and 1 thing i can taste (or one thing i am grateful for if i'm having a hard day). It's a grounding technique used for panic attacks and is actually quite helpful. Removal is just that - removing myself from the situation. I started experiencing that second manifestation i mentioned yesterday sitting on the deck of a boat. As soon as i went inside, the feelings went away and i could see everything as normal.

I don't know if either of these things will help you but they certainly have me, so just a few suggestions 🙂

I would love to hear back and see how you get on with everything!

Best of luck,

A

[Peppermintbach]

Hi cloudy days,

I’m very sorry for my very late reply. You’re most welcome and it’s lovely to hear from you again 🙂

Also, I really like how A (Guest) replied with such a thoughtful, intelligent and caring post. Lovely post there...

Kindness and warmth,

Pepper