How to deal with elevated heart rate and shaking during confrontations

[Helpfulness]

Hello everyone!

I'm desperately searching for ways to decrease my heart rate and shakiness during confrontations with people.

I don't feel like the size of a person matters in these situations, as someone that is half my age and size will still cause me to get an elevated heart rate and shakiness, even in times where mentally I don't feel worried or scared at all. 

This even happens when getting into confrontations online. An example would be my ex partners new boyfriend, who randomly messaged me out of the blue purposely trying to get a reaction out of me. This being said, I haven't spoken to them in 4 months and the only thing I've ever done since they've been together was politely ask for a few of my things to be returned. Why does my heart rate and shakiness occur even in situations like that? I'm not worried about him and don't feel threatened or scared in any way shape or form. So why do I get it?

 Any information on why this occurs even when not threatened would be helpful. Also any tips on how they can be prevented or more controlled in these situations.

 Thanks everyone!

-Helpfulness

[blondguy]

Hi Helpfulness

Just a correction to my above post....

Its 'Essential Tremor' not necessary tremor

I hope you have traveling okay

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Doestrep]

I definitely know what your talking about. Happens to me all the time the strange thing is it only happens while at work in confrontations with people online while playing online games like first person shooters or something but not when let’s say almost in a car crash or something that can actually end me, I feel calm and kind of relaxed and able to think.

I know what he means by he not afraid of these people or worried about what they’re thinking or what Iwe might say.

for me the anxiety is reversed in those kind of situation the other odd thing is I like it when it does happen. I don’t know it’s just strange to me.

[PamelaR]

Hi Doestrep and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Thank you for sharing here. The differences between when confronted with people and when in a possible car crash are interesting Doestrep.

Helpless's thread is about 3 years old and people won't pick up on your posts unless they're specifically interested in the post title.

So if you want to talk more here on the forums and have other listen, then think about starting your own thread.

It sounds like your self esteem and self worth could do with a boost. We're hear to listen, to care and to support you through.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Rickey]

Hi,

Im a life time suffer from anxiety & frankly t embarrassment of t symptoms (I wish on no one) have been worst than any REAL fear. Its manifested in many ways over t years. It's something I may deal with to a degree my whole life. T latest manifestation: my legs shaking badly & noticeably. I spent 20 yrs in competitive kickboxing & a 25-year-old woman five feet can cause this symptom. Knowing what to do & doing it I found two different things. Today, as terrible as this experience is I deal with it better than at 22 which is when it started with much different symptoms. I would like to make a list of things I am going 2 do & get back to. Another point, I am a mental health therapist, so it makes it more embarrassing & went through countless years of formal help by psychologist.

What worked for me:

Aerobic Exercise calmed me down (at times) before the situation.

Strength training & martial arts (that I can practice alone) 100% does help me. I feel more confident inside & this whole issue has 2do w/ what is going onme. I suspect releasing endorphins helps stop the shaking also.

Cognitve- I image the person: Nude, 3 feet & a squeaky voice. This has worked due I imagine it is hard to get nervous when I imagine t person this way!

Behavior: Most breath through the Chest. This is normal, but not helpful. T proper way 2 breathe is with t abdominals. I went through formal training for this. Suspect u can find on You Tube. During t confrontation, if u place ur hands on ur belly, u should feel & see ur belly moving up & down as u breathe in through the nose & releasing from t nose.

I went 2 a support group & stated what I was experiencing. It was so scary at first but amazingly helpful! Just saying: "I am Robert & ABC is happening 2 me!" I was literally letting t secret out 2 others. T more I did this, the less power the anxiety had t less power t symptoms had.

I found eating fewer carbs, more protein, healthy fat along with a few high-quality supplements helped. I took @least 50 mg of B complex, high-end multi, complete amino acids (not the protein powder due to efficey) were 3 that helped me. My MD prescribed a med. (not suggesting 4 anyone 2 C a MD)!!!

He said, Robert, if u had a kidney disease would u b embarrassed? I said: NO. He said, "You didn't ask for this, it is not your fault & a point A might be stop trying 2 hide this from everyone." This was huge.

Thank You

Much more to share, but limited characters.