How do you deal with a new type of anxiety?

[ashkey]

Hello to everyone,

My question probably doesn't sound like anything new but to me it is. I generally only experience anxiety with driving, it's been a problem for me for years but that is slowly getting better, so yay for progress! My problem now is work related anxiety and what work has done to me to make me feel this way.

I am in retail management and do a damn good job of it but come Xmas time something pops up which means I have to step into a role I can do but am just not wanting to do. It's happened to me 3 years now and happening again. I know I have the power to change things but I love my job and who I work with just sometimes it's a real toll. Lately a new manager has come on board which is supposed to be a good thing to support me. They have seniority over me but I still have to train them. Again, fine but it's come with challenges.

My new anxiety has to do with this new manager and how instantly they have come in and trying to reinvent the wheel which is not broken. It's already frustrating my team who trust me and will follow me to the ends of the earth.

This is only temporary for so many months but my question is, do I deal with it and feel this horrible nausea and dread every day and fake it for the duration or do I talk to my manager above them? I'm torn as this could make things worse I feel but I am just dreading waking up when I sleep and then I can't get back to sleep. I hate this so much.

Any help or kind words to get through this would be greatly appreciated. I don't usually have problems, my friends know me for being so carefree so this feeling is very out of the ordinary for me.

Thanks,
Ashkey

[blondguy]

Hello Ashkey

Welcome and thankyou for being a part of the forums!

I understand you as I had exactly the same people try to re-invent the wheel too..when I was a branch manager in a national retail chain (supermarkets)

Its hard work when you have to train someone that is senior to your role...I get it and it can be hard to cope with

Does this manager expect his/her suggestions to be implemented?.....or can you just thank them for their assistance and say you will 'give it a go' and not action their suggestions....or are they giving you a directive?

just asking if thats okay Ashkey...You shouldnt be feeling unwell prior to this senior manager being present. Even just reading your post I can see an amazing person leading a great team of staff

Can I ask if this temporary senior staff member treats you with respect and common courtesy?

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post Ashkey.Your privacy and well being is paramount to us

I know we dont have instant replies here. I do hope you can post back when its convenient for you 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[ashkey]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for responding to my question and it sounds like you are someone who could answer this question best with similar experience which I appreciate!

This manager can give me a directive as contractually they do have the seniority but respectfully I have told them how things usually are done but it's met with silence and shrugged off. This is someone who brags about having over 10yrs of managerial experience, I have 4, and they think they know best but they have no clue the company they have come into and what its about.

They do the bare essentials of being courteous but it does come across as "I know better". I do have some progress though, I spoke to my one up manager who I have high respect for and she respects me too and after all my team came to me over the last 5 days all with similar issues I just broke down and had my best friend who also works with me to encourage me to send an email to our one up manager.

I love and respect my team so much and I have earnt all of their respect and trust over time and I hate that they are feeling this way too which did give me the power to say something.

This new manager is being spoken to over the next few days on all of our behalf and I am nervous as it doesn't necessarily mean that they will be let go but if they do stay then my question is how would you proceed to go about the next few months working with someone like this obviously assuming they take huge feedback well?

Thank you again for replying, it means alot.

Ashkey

[ashkey]

Hi all,

I started this thread a little while ago now and things felt better with the previously mentioned issue above. But it has gotten very much worse now.

Today I had a pretty severe anxiety attack and broke down in tears, shaking violently and just almost inconsolable. I couldn't go to work today and my Area Manager was very supportive in this. It's the same issue as mentioned above with this new manager I am training but it's gotten to the point where she is trying to offside me with our whole team, praises everyone but me and says things about me behind my back but plays the sweet innocent victim.

I have established after talking things out with a friend and family member that she is a narcissist. I have dealt with them before in family but this one takes the cake. I know I have support from my Area Manager and my team are extremely supportive as they all feel offsided by this manager too. Unfortunately it's not just a case of her getting fired just yet as there are obvious legal grounds but I am to the point again that it's almost impossible to get out of bed and face the day. I don't want to let her win at all but I am struggling.

Does anyone have any tips on dealing with this kind of issue still moving forward in work? This could just be a one off experience or happen again in the future but I would rather try and learn how to cope now and ease the anxiety because my next step is going to the doctors to talk medication and that scares me.

Any help would be appreciated, I was very scared and not myself this morning at all.

Ashkey