How could something like a first time overseas trip cause so much anxiety?

[thisisldizzle]

Hi All,

First time on the website and posting. 5 weeks ago I returned from a VERY quick 10 day trip to America with friends and it was my first time out of the country, I'm 30 years old. I am a very comfortable person usually and this trip was planned and we left within 3 months of it (which was very quick) and very uncomfortable, I changed a lot of things in my life to make it happen. So leading up to the event I was so anxious about the long flight, money and every 'what if' my brain could think of, even up until I stepped onto the plane I was looking for 'ways out' that I could go home and forget about the whole thing, curl up in my bed and never go onto the big scary plane and experience something I've wanted to since I was 18 but never had the money to do it! I had very little annual leave, work was busy and little money but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I was more worried I'd have FOMO in 10 years then what was happening right then in my life.

So alas 5 weeks on, I don't feel like 'myself.' 2 weeks after I got back I was still very tired, found it hard to re-focus and was always zoned out. I went to see a doctor who said I had a virus (suffering from dry mouth and very sore throat), and to let it take it's course even though I had cried 5 times within a week for NO reason and felt panicked for no reason. I am now back into a steady work/life routine but I sometimes find myself sitting at my desk zoning out and thinking about my life and 'dark thoughts.' Before I went away I was always bubbly and never liked things that got me or others down and I loved seeing friends, shopping etc but I have struggled socially to get back into things. I am going to see my regular GP this week who is thankfully back from holidays who I hope will help me or refer me to someone who can. Tonight I was driving and felt like everything was closing in on me for NO reason I was just 'driving' like I do everyday and I panicked a little but tried to re-focus myself and I was worried I'd do something stupid, but I'm usually very cautious and controlled, so feeling unlike myself hasn't helped.

So my question to everyone is, has anyone else experienced this after something life changing? How did you deal with it? How long did you feel this way? Have you got any advice? I feel like I never want to travel again if this is how I feel after something that should be so wonderful, so I am currently lost and scared...help? Thanks all x

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum!

Congrats on your first overseas trip!

If you don't mind me asking, have you ever had anxiety or panic before the lead-up/return from this trip? It seems as though this is a fairly new emotional experience for you. Jet lag can affect some people hugely. When I got back from Italy in 2013 after two months, I was absolutely exhausted and got a cold soon after. I felt more down than usual too. However, I have had mental illness since my early teens.

It's great that you're seeing your regular GP. You are already taking the right measures to help yourself, which is fantastic. Taking a list of concerns/thoughts/symptoms with you to your GP appointment can be helpful. This way, you won't need to worry about forgetting to mention or discuss something.

I hope your GP appointment goes well (or went well!)

Best wishes,

SM

[thisisldizzle]

Hey SM! Thanks for reading my post and for writing back! I'm usually a stresser so before going I was SOOO STRESSED about the trip, money, work, life and I think this has all been a big release from the trip. Nothing about my life has changed persay (except for being VERY BROKE) I've never had anything like this before, sure everyone get anxious about bits and pieces, but this is all the time. So since being back (more noticeable the last few weeks) I don't like alone time, I cry randomly, I don't enjoy things like I did, am eating ok, everyone is being very lovely and polite BUT overthinking about everything I have no control over, and overthinking about why I feel the way I do and death/suicide etc it all feels overwhelming and so confusing! I have no idea what I want to do and who I am half the time 😞 I started seeing a psychologist last week, 2 sessions so far, it's all so scary and I assume seeing someone is progress but as I am so confused about everything I'm not sure how I feel about the treatment, I assume this is all linked with the anxiety in someway? It really has its' hooks into me, and having spare time is not my friend right now! Do you have any advice or insight?

[gab22]

Hello

I'm currently going through the exact same thing, although this is the second time this has happened to me after coming back from a holiday.

The first time i was quick to spring back to my usual self, some exercises which helped me was sticking to my hobbies, trying not to talk about it too much, not letting it affect my social life (this was hard at the start but each time i saw my friends it got better and better even though only a couple of them knew about my anxiety), working out.

I'm only 4 days into getting back from my holiday, my first day back at work tonight so we'll see how that goes. Although this time seems much worse, i went to the doctors previously and feel like i should go back this time. Last time my doctor wanted me to see a psychologist but i didn't. I get quite anxious about going to the doctors like you and find myself just bursting out crying which i find so embarrassing and don't want to see a psychologist. Also like you i have been crying for no reason.

Any advise for this?

[Zeal]

Hi again thisisldizzle,

The fact that you have been thinking of death and suicide is concerning. Seeing a psychologist is certainly progress, and I am very glad you are having regular sessions. Definitely explain the suicidal thoughts you're having, as this is important for the psychologist to know about (if you haven't discussed it already). If you want or need to talk to someone between the sessions, when you are struggling in the moment, give beyond blue's 24/7 helpline a call on 1300 22 4636.

Feeling confused and overwhelmed about seeing someone/the treatment is linked to your anxiety. There will be some negative emotions experienced while working through symptoms and issues with a psychologist. This is normal, and is worth it for your long-term mental health. Keep at it and remember that you are not alone in this. You can come to this forum for support, you can call helplines, reach out to close family and friends, and continue to see your psychologist 🙂

All the best,

SM