hey , i have this friend that suffers from a lot he is really trying but i don't know how to help

[BATTYGRACe12]

my freind is 14 named nick and suffers from a lot i would really like some ideas on how to help him . 

[white knight]

Every now and then on this forum BG, we get a person like you that has amazing empathy, kindness and caring for others. You are truly an inspiration.

Strong friendships are made with one or both parties initially showing care and suggesting ways that the sufferer can use to help them strive. These ways are-

• Tell them that you care
• Let them know (not too often) that you are available to message you if they need support
• Sometimes just sitting or standing next to them is enough and saying quietly "it's ok I'm here, I'm your friend". That seems ovious to say that but its called reassurance and we all like it.
• Be protective of your friend, kids and adults can be cruel, dont allow bullying from people that see an opportunity
• Suggest they visit the school counsellor  or ask them to ask their parents to see a doctor
• You can cheer them up easily. A small note slipped into their bag, a message on social media but best not to make the closeness of your friendship too public, people get jealous.
• A small gift occasionally even a couple of dollar- a bar of chocolate etc.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I hope that helps. In the future you might want to consider the mental health field as a career. The main qualification to begin with is kindness... you already get honours for that!!                                                  TonyWK 

[therising]

Hi BATTYGRACe12

You're such a good friend, searching for ways to help Nick. He's so lucky to have you in his life. While it can be really challenging to find the best guides for our self or someone else, guidance is definitely key when it comes to trying to work out the best direction to take within certain challenges.

Perhaps you could consider guiding Nick to the forums here, which may offer him some further sense of direction. You could even sit with him and offer suggestions on what he could write if he was feeling a little stuck, even if it was just to help him get started. With the forums being anonymous, he has the freedom to write what he feels. Tony offers a lot of other forms of guidance and support, a list to choose from. Doesn't matter what age we are, whether we're 14, 40 or 90, sometimes we can feel so lost to the point where the only way forward is through someone else helping lead the way, while giving us a positive vision as they see for us through their imagination. At times it can make a difference to find older people who can see more options based on the experience they've gained over the years, when it comes to a wide variety of challenges.

You really are such a great friend and a brilliant guide when it comes to the research you're doing in finding the best way forward for Nick. You're an incredibly conscious and considerate person. The world is lucky to have you in it. 🙂

[Ranga-1]

You are a very kind and thoughtful friend to Nick. You say he suffers from a lot - are there things going on his life that you can provide practical assistance with? For example, if he has troubles with some of the school work, does anyone at school do tutoring? Are there some family problems - maybe you can have Nick over at your place for some respite and just hang out, play video games etc. 

Find a teacher you trust or speak to the school counsellor; those people will have some practical advice, too. They likely have professional qualifications and resources to help Nick. 

Ask Nick if there's anything he would like to do. Tell him you're here for him and that he doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to. You can just hang out. 

Refer Nick to this service or possibly to Headspace, which is an organisation for younger people.