Help to overcome being triggered by aggressive people .

[Pixie15]

Hi,

I am back at university which I am enjoying on a lot of levels but I am being worn down somewhat by having my anxiety being triggered by more aggressive people. I am having trouble concentrating  and it is affecting my ability to write and take notes and I think I look anxious and frowning. I can not always choose what group to join. It is very tiring. 

thanks.

[JessF]

Hello GratefulToday, I hope I'm allowed to post links here because I have discovered this really great blog called You Are Not So Smart and there is a post about the very thing you talk about above, that idea of panicking that others can read the emotions on our faces. They can't, but because our inner voices of anxiety scream so loudly in our heads we convince ourselves that it's written all over our faces in red ink. Here is the link: http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/07/14/the-illusion-of-transparency/

But back to the aggressive people. Are these people in your class that you're being put in groups with? How are they being aggressive? Do they talk over the top of you, or rubbish suggestions you make? 

[Pixie15]

Hi JessF. It is more the startle effect. Do you know what it is like to have someone come up behind you quietly when you are concentrating and grab you. It is like that. Not particularly what is said or if it is directed at me I just seem to be reacting to the way they are speaking. I will check out your link thanks.

[JessF]

Haha I usually jump out of my skin and then snap angrily at people who do that to me! Classic defense cover.  It sounds like you're talking about the way people speak in a group, like perhaps during a discussion when someone suddenly blurts out something - does it feel like someone's just shot a starter gun at a race?

[Pixie15]

Yes. Starter gun or dropped a bomb but snapping angrily is not appropriate and can't really do a couple of laps of the room to walk it off.