Health anxiety?

[Mummybee]

Hello everyone,

I am new to posting here.

I think I am getting health anxiety...

i have always been prone to panic attacks followed by periods of anxiety, but usually just situational, and as soon as the issue I'm worried about is resolved the anxiety fades and I go back to my usual self.

the problem this time is that it's my health I'm worried about and I'm scared that's making me find symptoms that aren't there and I will never escape this!

it started when I had some foggy brain and when to the Drs about it. He said he wanted to do an MRI after my blood tests came back all clear just to make sure there wasn't anything sinister going on, and that's when I panicked. I'm a 32 yo mother of two young children and between the time he said I needed the MRI and when I saw him again I had convinced myself I had MS or a brain tumour or something that would kill me.

when I rang for the results the receptionist told me that my dr wanted to see me regarding the results and I went into full panic attack. I couldn't breath, my heart was pounding my ears ringing I couldn't move my legs or arms... I made it to the doctors with some help from my mum and was told he just wanted me to see an eye dr as the MRI radiologist had queried a slightly larger optical nerve. No tumours no signs of anything nasty. But my muscles were so weak from the panic attack and it just won't go away, so now I'm so wound up and sick with worry about my muscles and why they are twitching like crazy and feel weak. This was three weeks ago and I'm still weak and twitching and can't get back to my dr until next week.

 i thought posting on here might help take my mind off it for a while and hear other people's experience with health anxiety.

when I went to the eye dr my optical nerve was fine and my vision perfect but they did find slight changes suggesting cataracts. Cataracts at 32!! So now I have dr googled myself into being sick about the diseases I must have underlying to have cataracts at 32!

thanks for listening. 

I'm so worried about not being around to watch my kids grow up 😞

[Dwwmills]

Hello Mummybee.

Anxiety can be all consuming sometimes. I hate the way it
takes away your reasoning abilities. Sort of sneaks up on you and you find
yourself worrying about things that later, are less important. I find being
anxious about my health is particularly difficult to deal with. Getting older I
really do have some things I need to keep an eye on. It’s trying to keep these
things in perspective that can be difficult.

Waiting for a scan result or a test result can have my mind
racing away with all possible negative outcomes. I’ve found myself searching
the Internet for all the possible outcomes. The anxiety has me thinking about
all the worst possible outcomes and this finishes up making me even more
anxious. The best way I found so far of dealing with this is to say that I have
no way of influencing the outcome of the test or scan. Looking at all the
possibilities will not change the outcome one iota. I now set myself a limit of
time for looking on the net. Some research does help me have a more intelligent
conversation with the doctor. I then say to myself that I will be able to deal
with whatever turns up once I know what it is. Instead of wasting all this
energy worrying, I tried to put it to some good elsewhere, like tackling my
anxiety.

My experience with anxiety is that it is a thief. It robs
you of life now whilst you worry about things in the future, without you even
realising it. Your last line ”I’m so worried about being around to watch my
kids grow up.” Hits home for me. The anxiety itself could already be taking you
away from your kids. I don’t mean this as a personal criticism but as an
example of how I believe anxiety is a thief. I’ve had this happen myself and it
took me a while to realise that being mentally exhausted from worrying about my
health left less time and energy for me to give to my kids.

Does your doctor know about the levels of anxiety you are
experiencing? Talking to your doctor about it may start the process of tackling
your anxiety. I found things improved greatly after doing this myself as the
anxiety was a problem and not my health.

I wish you all the best.

[Moonstruck]

Jacko....last time we "met" just about a week ago I guess....I said "next time we speak on this forum, I may be telling you about my beautiful new (second hand) air cond. car"....guess what Jacko!  a couple of days after that, I was offered the chance to buy (in my limited price range) a beautiful second-hand, air cond. automatic car with low mileage and absolutely immaculate and just checked over by the same mechanic who had delivered such bad news about my old one...which I knew had to be confined to the scrap heap!!  It came out of the blue....my head is still spinning a bit with the swiftness of how quickly my visualisations were answered.....perhaps just writing those few words down to you.....made it "real" somehow.....our thoughts and written words are more powerful than we think!....just had to share that with you and my other new friends on the Forum...(I call her my Silver Lady...she is here with me now)........Cheers.

[Jacko777]

Ha! Well that's funny! And terrific, I don't reckon I deserve any credit but happy to be a part of it! It definitely does help to write down your goals, have intention. I have been getting back into writing a daily list of things to do, not just chores, I try to get around to most of the important parts of my life each day with achievable goals. 

Anyway, great stuff and thanks for letting us know!

Jack

[mumpegg]

Hi mummybee, 

Thank you so much for thinking of me. I went a little offline for a week so apologies for the delay! I had my appointment and she referred me to a specialist....once I got the referral I started feeling silly and calmed down. Most of my symptoms dissapeared. I went to the specialist appointment though, expecting to just be told not to worry and he advised I need further investigation! So this Thursday I have a "procedure" 

I'm absolutely so scared. Not of the actual thing itself but I just keep thinking that I'm going to be in the room with my husband and my daughters and the doctor is going to walk in and say I have cancer. 

The specialist appointment was Thursday. It's Saturday afternoon and I feel like I can't breathe. Everything is coming back. It's ridiculous because I know it's the anxiety causing it but I can't calm down. I'm just so thankful this thing is only 5 days away so I can just get the bloody thing done and find out what's happening. 

I hope you're going ok? Are you feeling any better than your last post? I honestly never worried like this.....it's kids, I just can't imagine leaving them.....and I appreciate your post dwwmills, it's true we are already leaving them by being so consumed with all of this, I just can't shut it off, especially with this test looming! 

[Dwwmills]

Hello mumpegg.

I’m really sorry you have to go in for further testing. It
is really hard to switch off and I don’t know that I could in your situation.
It’s the uncertainty of not knowing and the lack of control. I’m glad you don’t
have to wait long.

I hope it all turns out well for you.

[Dwwmills]

Hi mumpegg.

Just another quick thought. I’ve had a few tests for things
that potentially would not have been nice to have. They have all so far come
out fine.

Doctors like to make sure they don’t miss a diagnosis. Your
procedure may be more likely to be happening to make absolutely sure that you
don’t have whatever they’re looking for. You may have a very small chance of
having whatever they’re searching for but they still need to do the test. What
I’m trying to say is that the doctor may be doing the test just to make
absolutely sure you don’t have whatever it is rather than them suspecting that
you do have it.

Good luck I will be thinking of you.

[Mummybee]

Hi Mumpegg,

sorry to hear your mind isn't at ease.

ill be thinking of you on Thursday. I'm sure it will be all fine, but I know that my say so won't make you feel better. Please let me know how you go.

my fear is MS. I've had a clear MRI but I'm still petrified I have it. I find a new symptom everyday, fixate on the tingle or the "feeling" and I google it and it always fits in with MS. I don't know how many times I can go to the dr before they call me crazy, or worse send me to a neurologist that will put me into massive panic mode.

anyway I'll be thinking of you. 

Mummybee

[Mummybee]

Hi Mummpegg

I have been thinking of you

how did your tests work out?

Mummybee

[oska]

hi my name is oska I have been suffering from anxiety for five years I find it really hard im lucky I have family who are really supportive and a wonderful husband from this site I hope to get some more support from other people who can understand what im going through thank you

[Moonstruck]

Hi there Oska......i am sure you will find folk who understand anxiety.....there seem so many degrees of it and different kinds....most of the time I can hide it well....and this confuses people when I am longing to explain how "scared" I am of certain things and events...that seem harmless to them!  they laugh and pass it off as just me being dramatic, or witty or something......e.g. (now this may seem funny to some) I am scared of my new car!!  there you see, I bet some of you guys out there laughed!  I know it sounds amusing...but i can't be bothered explaining to people that I have had for ages, an underlying Anxiety Disorder, which because I have conquered so well and managed to control.....they just don't believe me...so I don't bother explaining......it's a second hand car but Ive never had a "nice car" before.....its  bigger than the last 30 year old one...so very nervous about parking, haven't driven at night in the dark yet...had to ask for help getting the clock, radio, etc going.....I am just "scared"....I have to psyche myself up sometimes to walk out, get in and confidently drive off....always masking my underlying fear....its so hard....I am a good driver.....i have to beat this...I cannot let this Anxiety stop me from enjoying what is a lovely new thing and event in my life......gee, it's hard isn't it...how can we just click our fingers and make the anxiety go away?  stop being frightened?......best wishes Oska and to you all...