Health Anxiety - Relapsed Fears

[AUSb]

For the last 18 months I have had increasingly worsening health anxiety ranging from pains in my chest causing ER visits thinking I’d had a heart attack to blurry vision causing optometrist visits because I thought I was going blind. Mid last year my GP put me in touch with a mental health counsellor and I spoke to him up until early this year about different cognitive behavioural therapy methods that he thought could help me. CBT didn’t work for me but talking helped and things eventually started to get better by themselves around Christmas and as such I stopped seeing the counsellor. One of the main fears I had struggled with a lot last year was of airborne carcinogens, I had an incident at work that involved me spraying roundup without the correct PPE and it caused me a great deal of stress and crippled my ability to function for weeks. Looking back on it now I know that it is extremely unlikely to have caused any issues as it’s only prolonged constant exposure to roundup that poses serious health risks and people spray it in their backyards etc without masks everyday, never the less at the time I was petrified and still go through spurts of worrying about it.

Recently I have accepted a new job and am due to start soon, the new job will require I move an hour from home to my girlfriends house. As the move has gotten closer and closer I have begun to have worries, predominately again about airborne carcinogens and my partner's house. I am finding myself in the same position as I was with the roundup and am petrified of the house I am moving to containing asbestos, so much so that I have had a building inspector look and take samples to test for asbestos, which he indicated there most likely is. We are waiting to see what comes back from the tests but I don’t know what I’m going to do if they are positive. I know that thinking rationally asbestos isn’t an issue unless disturbed or prolonged exposure but I still find myself worrying and falling down the rabbit hole.

I don’t know what to do in this situation - I can’t give up on this job as it’s one I’ve always wanted and I can’t let health anxiety control my life or impact my ability to function, but I’m also worried about what will happen to my mental health if the asbestos tests are positive and I have to live in such close proximity to something that I am so afraid of.

[Petal22]

Hi AUSb,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand how debilitating this can be.

Im glad that your councillor was able to help you, do you think it would be helpful for you to go back and see him for what you are currently going through?

Have you ever had an official diagnosis for what you are experiencing?

I understand how it feels to be always going down the rabbit hole of worrying…. It’s a vicious cycle.

I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD, this condition was very debilitating while I was in the grips of it.

I would be for ever stuck in a vicious cycle……. this cycle would bring extreme worries ( even about irrational things) ( things that I would never do or become a reality)…. My anxiety was very severe due to my intrusive thoughts.

I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by a psychiatrist.

I did a 8 week group therapy this therapy was an intervention into the OCD it gave me all of the tools and skills I needed to break free of the grips of the vicious cycle of OCD.

I was taught what my cycle was and then how to recognise it and then disengage from it.

Im not a doctor and can’t diagnose but please mention OCD to your doctor, clinical psychologist or psychiatrist and see what they think?

When you realise you are having these intrusive thoughts and worries please notice it and then put you attention on something in the present moment, even when you come back to these intrusive thoughts bring your attention onto something in the present moment.

Not everyone with OCD performs physical compulsions some are mental like seeking reassurance ( sometimes from yourself) or counting to a certain number.

Ive recovered now thanks to the professional help I received…….. my original OCD began while I was experiencing health anxiety I just didn’t realise at the time it was OCD.

OCD is treatable if I can recover then there is hope that you can recover from what you are experiencing aswell with the correct help….. life will become a lot easier and less exhausting.

Please ask me any questions

[Notmyfirstrodeo]

Wow, your experiences sound very familiar! Good that your therapy helped you at the time and that you are reaching out for support in this setting. I guess CBT can be one of those things that needs repeated practice to get an effect (I’m still working on it).

I have some pretty debilitating health anxiety too, sometimes focused on myself, sometimes on my family. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and take an SSRI. I think maybe I have OCD, because I get into spirals where I obsessively check and google.

One approach that I have found useful at times is actually working on stepping out of or not attaching to my negative thoughts. I try to recognise that my worries don’t protect me and they are just ramblings of my mind. We have thoughts that drift by and we don’t grab hold of them, but anxiety is fuelled by our attachment to sticky thoughts that we treat as truth, even though they’re just thoughts. We hold on to the ‘ being near asbestos will harm me’ story, rather than the thoughts that tell us that it is safe in the form that it would be in in your partners house. I guess because we think worrying will keep us safe, when really it just seems to sap our joy! I am working on just letting those thoughts float in and then telling them they can just float on our again.

I hope you can keep getting support, talking over worries can help let them out so you can let them go (at least for a bit). It’s a horrible thing, no doubt, but I hope we can emerge from the other side!

[Petal22]

Hi Notmyfirstrodeo,

I understand the spirals of OCD…….. it’s very debilitating when we are in the grips of it.

I was very blessed to do a therapy for my OCD it was an intervention into the OCD…. The therapy I did was meta cognitive therapy it took perseverance and practice to master what I was taught but well worth it because I no longer get caught up in the vicious cycle of OCD.

You may be Interested in read two threads that I have written

From someone who suffered OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive therapy

Just type this in your search bar.

[Karen0901]

I think it is normal to be cautious about things that can impact your health. You can't control everything though so you can't let it run your life. I have severe anxiety and worry about everything including health stuff. I manage it through proper research and talking about my concerns to others.

I think it is a good sign that you can recognise that your Round up exposure was very small. It was used extensively in the past and you would need more exposure for it to be a concern. It would be banned if it was that toxic. 

Asbestos is one that I have anxiety about as well. However, I live in a house that has asbestos through it. Most people do. It is everywhere. Like you said it can only hurt you if it is in it's fibrous form. For example, if there is damage to it through cutting or things like asbestos insulation. It was commonly cut into etc., years ago as my Dad likes to remind me and the majority of people were not effected. My Dad has had extensive exposure from renovations and building and has no problems yet. He is 70.  My grand dad died from it due to fixing car breaks as it was in them and the grinding of the breaks made it fibrous. No one else was effected in the family despite him coming home with possible fibres on his clothes. My gran lived to be 96 and she did his washing. You can be effected with shorter exposure but it is more unlikely. Renovations are a concern because being inside increases the risk and often it gets airborne via sweeping etc. The demolishing process also creates a lot of dust.

I hope that resassured you a bit. Asbestos is serious if it becomes airborne. Just be aware of safety when you need to come in contact with it and live your life.