health anxiety out of control

[maccaz]

Hi,

Hoping anyone here can provide some input. Basically ever since I was very young I was on edge/anxious, particularly about health type things. Throughout my teenage years this was particularly bad, but coming into my early 20s life kind of got in the way and I forgot about it.

Fast forward to May this year, a lot of life changes, had my first child born, moved into a very high pressure job with a fair amount of travel, etc. I started experiencing weird symptoms like difficulty urinating (which went away), diarrhea (comes and goes), ocasionally weird sensations in my hands or feet like i am uncoordinated or something. decided to nip all this in the bud and went to the doctor, they put it all down to anxiety after blood tests etc came back all good (liver a bit elevated from drinking for a week on holiday prior). I wasn't confident in that diagnosis so went to another doctor and essentially bullied him into testing me for "everything", so was all the cancer markers, all that kind of stuff. All positive and liver much better.

This process has really opened pandoras box and I am experiencing new symptoms constantly every day. Constantly in an out of body type state, can't focus on anything, can't concentrate, crap memory, and a consuming worry/anxiety about it all. I'm currently overseas for work and am at a point where I'm planning to walk into a hospital and insist they test me for MS/other stuff like that just because I feel it surely can't be anxiety. I get panicky, have trouble swallowing, can't get a deep breath, my hands and feet feel weird, sore back, twitching muscles all over the place (so you can see how i came up with the MS theory, but that is probably self diagnosis #50 i've given myself in the past 6 weeks) . I also can't sleep for more than a couple of hours and wake up in a panic.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced similar physical type symptoms and how they cope with it? I'll continue progressing the proper medical approach to rule out anything physical in the meantime 😞

[Aaronsis]

Hi maccaz

It is so great that you have reached out to our community here for some support at this time when you are so very overwhelmed with "what is wrong". Can I start off by saying I am by no means a professional here, just a person that cares.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear but I am basing my comments on what you have provided and that is that you have been to 2 doctors and that you are essentially..OK...from a physical sense that is. That some of the symptoms you are describing are very much aligned to anxiety, that anxiety is the strangest thing and does the weirdest things to our bodies that of course you would be thinking you have a huge illness like MS, these symptoms are very frightening and very real.

The thing with anxiety is that it is about worry and about stress and the more that you worry about the symptoms the more the symptoms come..the next thing you know you are in a real state.

I am so very pleased though that you have reached out to medical professionals as well as the community here. You have alot on your plate with the arrival of a new baby, congratulations how very wonderful and the pressures too of a new role, another congrats. You have so much to think and deal with that I am not surprised you are feeling stressed and worry.

How do you feel about the idea that perhaps you are having a time in your life where your mental health needs some attention. How would you feel if the doctor does say this is anxiety? I am just wondering if you are perhaps worried that if you have to acknowledge that perhaps you do have a mental health condition this will not sit well with you. I am hoping I am wrong there. There is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It happens to anyone and anytime and there is so very much support for this about.

There is some wonderful help available too with the helplines if you wanted to talk to a person and chat about how you are feeling, there is the Beyond Blue line on 1300 22 4636, which have some amazing people to help you through this time also.

I hope to chat to you some more and I am not sure if I have been helpful or not.

huge hugs

AS

[Step_Twelve]

Hi maccaz,

When I have a lot of big life changes and new demands, my anxiety symptoms escalate too. This seems to happen even if I don't consciously feel stressed. I might feel like I'm handling everything fine, but I'll start getting dizzy spells and heart palpitations. I then tell myself that it can't be anxiety because I'm not really feeling anxious, and therefore it must be something much worse! But when I try to step back and look objectively at all the evidence, it becomes pretty obvious that anxiety is the culprit.

Anxiety symptoms are so varied and bizarre they can cause us endless confusion and frustration, especially when random new ones suddenly decide to show up. There's a big post somewhere on this forum where people are invited to describe some of their symptoms. You've never seen a more eclectic and peculiar list of symptoms! Check it out and see how many match yours. I certainly get the "out of body" feeling you mentioned, and overthinking often causes me to lose focus and forget things too.

Let me ask you, what evidence do you have that what you're experiencing is due to anxiety? You've talked about some big life changes recently. You've had anxiety as a child. You've seen several medical professionals. You've had a number of tests that came back clear.

What evidence is there that you have some other life-threatening illness causing your symptoms? I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose you, but from your post I see very little to suggest you're in any danger (and not from a lack of searching!).

maccaz, I think you already know this. You know that your anxiety is overpowering your rational thoughts and becoming very controlling. You know that you're probably physically fine - the evidence says so. I really feel like you need to work with your GP to treat the anxiety itself. Excessive tests and research will not make the worry go away; anxiety will always find a new worry to latch onto.

Try starting the discussion with your GP around anxiety and see how you go. Hope it goes well!

[maccaz]

thank you for putting things into perspective for me!

I will go and see my GP as soon as I am back in Australia on the weekend and work out some next steps.

[maccaz]

Thank you very much for your reply. I guess I didn't get my tone right in my post, completely open to this being a mental health issue and starting down the path of working on it, just in such a panic and all the possibilities in the world run through my head

[Aaronsis]

Hey maccaz

I am glad to hear back from you and totally understand, it is hard to get the tone right in a written message.

I am so happy to hear that you are not frightened or adverse to the idea that perhaps this is anxiety as it really is nothing to feel shame or fear about. That it can happen to anyone at anytime and the good news is that it can be managed.

That is really great news that you are going to make an appointment when you get home, I think that is a really good step in the right direction, and chatting here too for some support and some comfort at this time when I can hear how much your thoughts are impacting your day and your health.

Hope to chat some more to you maccaz.

AS

[maccaz]

some progress, got the ball rolling after reading the relies i had got.

had a 1 hour call with the psychology service offered through my employment, and he pointed out a few things that have happened along the way (not mentioned in my post above) that made him think there is probably some element of ptsd involved. Now I am starting weekly CBT (funded by my employer which is great as no way i'd be able to afford it), and feel like a great amount of dread has been lifted just by having some kind of path forward and having brain dumped all of the things going on to the guy. also got some reading from him to do around relaxation techniques and that kind of thing, which i'm going to get onto asap.

Thanks so much again for both of your replies above 🙂

[Aaronsis]

Oh Fantastic maccaz

I am so very happy for you and so proud that you reached out and also made the call yesterday. It sure sounds like you purged alot off your chest and got some really good support which is so wonderful.

Your work sounds great and so very supportive too which makes such a huge difference to your wellness journey.

This has really made me smile today, thank you, and well done, for choosing you and choosing to be happy.

Keep chatting anytime you like as I would really like to know you are doing ok.

Hugs

AS