Having a panic attack and feel nauseous

[nootnoot]

A few weeks ago I decided I was going to move out of my partners parents house because I can't stand his parents. I looked at a place and liked it straight away. I'll be taking the room of another tenant who moved out. None of the move has been finalised yet and I haven't gotten the all clear from the real estate lady. The other girl who I will be living with says I should just move in my stuff already and start paying the rent so the other girl who was staying there before me doesn't have to keep paying. (There are two tenants, one moved out but still has to pay rent until a new person moves in. As I said the other tenant wants me to move in tomorrow but now I am sick with nervousness and I have been having panic attacks. My boyfriend has been distant towards me ever since I said I wanted to move out. I am worried he is going to break up with me even though I said I don't want that and that I just want my own space. So basically the fact that I could be moving out tomorrow is making it all too real and I feel sick about it. I worry that I have made the wrong decision and that my mental health will go downhill. I have a history of anxiety and depression and with big life events is usually when I become more depressed.

I don't know what to do anymore. I am now thinking I should just stay at home with my boyfriend still because I fear I will lose him. But I am worried about disappointing the other girl because I said I would move in even though I haven't been given the all clear.

[Sophie_M]

Hey nootnoot,

It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight. It sounds like things are feeling really overwhelming at the moment, and we are so sorry that you're in such a tough space. But please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this difficult time.

If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support and advice.

You are not alone here, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.
 

[Doolhof]

Hi nootnoot,

Being uncertain about how we should proceed in life can be difficult and cause us no end of unhelpful thoughts and confusion.

It may be beneficial to have your proposed move finalised and confirmed by the real estate lady before you move. It will be essential to know you have moved legally if that is what you decide to do.

Sounds like you are excited about the proposed move as well as concerned about your boyfriend and his reaction to you moving out.

Hope you are able to openly discuss your needs for moving with him.

In life we sometimes allow fear to stop us from doing what we desire in our hearts to do. What ever your decision is, I hope you are able to move forward and make the most of the situation.

Regards from Dools

[therising]

Hi nootnoot

Trust your gut (feeling). If the thought of moving in without things being finalised is making you feel sick, hold off until you get the all clear. Transitioning out of the current household is about creating a clear uncomplicated path, so the less complications the better. Trust the real estate agent to be your guide as to when to move in, not the person who doesn't have the legal right to direct you.

With all my heart, I wish you only the best on your path forward. This must be an incredibly challenging time for you. You're making an admirably brave move into a new part of your life. Take care and look after yourself, without others interfering with your positive decisions and goals. Try not to doubt yourself as you get a feel for what's right.

🙂