Hangxiety

[JustChecking]

Here I am, it’s midnight and I’ve just woken up after having a couple of drinks with a friend and I have the most overwhelming anxiety. It’s like my eyes shot open and before I even had the chance to orientate myself I was overcome with the familiar feeling of “why did I do that?”. Replaying every sentence I might have spoken from the night and convincing myself I did something stupid. Trying to reassure myself that I was with my best friend and in actuality I don’t think there’s much I could do that would elicit any judgment from her - but sure enough I going to look for something. Why can’t I just listen to myself when I say I don’t want to drink - I know I feel so much better after coming home from a social event after making the decision not to drink, and yet sometimes I still choose to and end up like this. It makes me feel so stupid. Just trying to breathe through it and tell myself texting her at 12:30am to apologise for something I probably didn’t even do is not a good idea.

I feel like I’m the only person I know who experiences such intense anxiety with drinking... anyone else out there? Any advice for sticking to your guns when you tell yourself you’re not going to drink?

[therising]

Hi JustChecking

It's definitely a horrible feeling, waking up to the kind of anxiety that leads us to question our self with such severity that we feel it physically running through our whole body.

I'm an ex binge drinker and a mum who somewhat openly discusses with my kids my years in depression as a drinker. As I say to my 14yo son and 17yo daughter 'There's nothing wrong with having the occasional drink if you like the taste. If you're drinking to get drunk, you need to ask yourself why (you're trying to change the way you tick)'. For me, it led me to become less shy and more of a social butterfly. It led me to feel more relaxed. It also led me to forget the painful aspects that come with depression. Having left my depression behind me some years ago (along with the binge drinking), I look back now and realise how much the drinking kept me in my depression. I kept drinking to try and forget the regrettable actions of the last time I drank. So, I know where you're coming from regarding the anxiety aspect that comes with drinking.

What keeps me from drinking like I used to? This is going to sound pretty simplistic but it basically gets in the way of who I want to be. I love being my natural self these days. It has been a long journey to get to this point.

Without alcohol, we face many challenges - to become a naturally confident person, a natural social butterfly, a naturally relaxed person and so on. When the chemistry of alcohol (esp in large amounts) meets with the chemistry of our body, the sense of dis-ease we can feel throughout the whole of our being can become overwhelming. Whether we feel the effects of this chemical cocktail as a hangover or whether we feel such chemistry mix with out thoughts, the Energy in motion that comes with drinking can feel life changing.

The significant down side of drinking: We become semi conscious. When we return to greater consciousness, the challenge to be our natural self begins again (hence the thoughtful apologetic nature). Remaining true to our self is an ongoing challenge but definitely one worth rising to. It brings many rewards and skills.

Next time you're tempted to drink, pick a skill you want to naturally master. It could be something as simple as learning to read people. Observing their nature, their actions, their words requires great attention to detail. Showing such an interest in folk leads them to become interested in you. You become a natural social butterfly, without a drop of alcohol.

🙂