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Going Out on My Own & Challenging Day

Ponder
Community Member

Tomorrow I have to check my eBike into the the shop on my own.  Is hard when people don't understand I can't remember my phone number and when I start to stutter but I feel I am getting less annoyed compared to those that struggle to control their own responses.  Whilst I also struggle with hearing words and processing them incorrectly like I do words when reading (dyslexic hearing kind of thing) + severe sensorineural hearing loss ... I at times can actually hear speech sounds more clearly when the place is quiet enough.  

 

Last time I took my bike in I could hear a technician having a joke at my expense regarding having to get things just right on my bike. More the sarcasm and energy in his voice.  It kind of cut me deep at first but I am getting better at ignoring it.  In the mornings when I post I might appear to be unaffected although when re-reading I can see how I slip up.  When I am under stress or have exerted myself I quickly start to become a lot more impaired. 

 

Tonight I just wrote down as best I could a list of things I need fixed with my details on it in the hope that will be enough.  I explain better my ailments to the manager tomorrow and tape my instructions to my bike before quietly leaving.  I even have my sticky tape packed after I read off the paper why I am there.

 

If I find I am disrespected again I will seek out another repair shop elsewhere and explain why I left the other one.  I spent like 3.5K on my bike as I don't drive and my bike is everything to me.   Tomorrow will be my last try with that shop.

 

Today was challenging.  I had to ring Community Mental health because after a friend of mine you stop calling  me and another close friend, I checked his house where he had smashed the place up.  I did not want to ring MH but was concerned about him.   Thankfully they were already attending to him when I called.  That was stressful because they are the last people I wanted to call.  He has been entrenched in their grip for some time now.  It's hard to explain the pros and cons with that, but the lady sounded nice enough.  Is hard to see him having such a hard time.  I think I did the right thing as I gave them extra info I know he is not telling them. [Denial] - It was not easy to reveal but I kind of got to put my own boundaries down as well.  Not making much sense tonight as big day but all good.  I prep for my anxious visit to the bike story in the morning.  

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Ponder, welcome

 

I noticed that you refer to stress often, that you are effected by it a lot. Same here and I've found ways to help myself through life easier with stress.

 

First off, people will always talk behind your back, the trick is- treat it like it's their problem as they cant talk face to face as they haven't got the courage.

 

Next is acceptance of yourself to yourself. You have obviously got many limitations but I'm proud that you have found ways to tackle them to make life enjoyable as you can. Indeed that is a great achievement. Please read the first post of this thread that tells you of how your nature is set in concrete- https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/accepting-yourself-the-frog-and-the-scorpion/td-p/1...

 

I noticed you cared for your friend, you really are a caring person. Dont ever lose that quality eh. It's people like you that are a valuable resource on this forum.

 

I hope I've helped. Take care and ignore the negative talkers.

 

TonyWK