GAD - How did you explain it

[BballJ]

Hi all,

My apologies in advance if this thread has been discussed before but I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for.

Basicially, being recently diagnosed with GAD - my partner is having a hard time understand what this is, I am still working it out personally however, has anyone had luck explaining it to their partner or family or friend, what did you use?

I respect that my partner doesn't understand and she is trying too, but for her its just come out of no where, I was fine weeks ago and then now im not, which im trying to say I haven't been well for a while I've just masked It because I didn't want it to be a mental health issue, I have started explaining things I do which I never tell anyone (I.E Cannot leave home without an asthma pump, even though I don't have bad asthma, but if I leave without, I have a panic attack and feel like I can't breathe) amongst a lot of other little "Quirks" as I used to put them down too.

Anyway, just seeing how you may have explained this condition to your partners or friends to help them understand, she always asks when I have an episode, what triggered it and I say its not one thing, its just a collection of things and she doesn't get that point.

Thank you in advance for your responses.

[TheoloNerd]

I don't know if this is helpful to you, but here's how I think of it.

Imagine you're walking down the street. It's a rough part of town, and there are signs of stuff that's not right all around - broken windows, damaged cars, scary-looking people.

Your body deals with this by secreting a hormone called adrenaline, which gets you ready to fight or run (It's called the Fight or Flight reaction). So your mind is on edge, and you're constantly looking for the threat.

BUT when you get into your car and drive away from the bad area, the body stops pumping out the adrenaline. You feel relieved, and your mind goes back to normal. You stop looking for the threat!

Now imagine the same situation - but when you get into the car, your body DOESN'T stop making adrenaline. You're afraid driving home. You're afraid in the garage. You're afraid making a snack. You're afraid kissing your partner goodnight. You're afraid in your nice, safe bed. Your mind is still edgy, and you're still looking for the threat, which isn't there. There's no relief, there's only fear. Not only are you afraid, you're ALSO frustrated (because you know in your mind that there's no threat, but you can't make your body believe it).

Does this help?

[Reaperbird]

Well, some ways I've heard people describe it:

• "It's like how the boss music in a game starts playing, except there's no enemy."
• "Like how you feel after watching a scary movie; jumpy, nervous and paranoid. Except you're like that all the time."
• "It's like your mind is constantly ready to fight or run, that even the smallest things can set it off."

​I personally find it hard to explain to others too. But I do find it helps to let other people know the signs of my panic attacks and how to respond to it. Often when I do have a panic attack, I can't explain myself, which can lead to frustration for both me and the people around me. But when they know what to expect, it's a lot easier to manage and not made out to be as big of a deal.

For me grounding helps a lot, also moving away from crowded/noisy areas to take a moment to settle my nerves. Also like yourself, I take my asthma inhaler with me for security.

I'm also accustomed to telling people not to touch me or raise there voice when I have a panic attack, since it makes it significantly worse. I also let them know I have my odd quirks too, such as keeping doors closed in the house or counting my change several times before paying for something. Things that make me feel more comfortable and self-assured. Sometimes people don't understand, but other times, I find out others have similar habits or routines which can be reassuring.

I wish you the best anyway, explaining it is definitely not easy, especially when you probably don't understand what's going on half the time yourself. But hopefully you can work it out with your partner, it's always good to have someone who understand and can support you.

Good luck!

[BballJ]

Thanks TheoloNerd!

very good description and I will use that to explain to my partner so thank you.

[BballJ]

Thank you Reaperbird.

i definitely echo a lot of your statements and understand your quirks you speak of, I have little things where I have to lock all the doors in a certain way before I go to sleep and have two glasses of water, like You, knowing other people do these little things reassure me as well.

my partner is trying and I love her more for it 🙂

[PLUMJUICE]

Andrew Solomon said

" It was the feeling all the time like that feeling you have if you're walking and you slip or trip and the ground is rushing up at you, but instead of lasting half a second, the way that does, it lasted for six months. It's a sensation of being afraid all the time but not even knowing what it is that you're afraid of. "

That's what it's like to me except mine has lasted longer..

I hope your partner comes to an understanding,

Stay safe & loved

PLUMJUICE

[MsPurple]

For me when I am having an anxiety attack or a bad GAD it feels like constant dread. I feel like I have missed a small step and that drop feeling keeps on going. I feel light headed and a little out of it, sometimes it feels like my surroundings aren't real (like I am in a dream/nightmare, but I'm awake). Every sound and smell is heightened. I feel like everyone looking in my general direction is looking directly at me and judging me. It is hard to explain, but it is a horrible thing to deal with. I know there are some great youtube videos explaining anxiety (one from beyond blue explains it like a snowballing worries). I used this to also get a better understanding of it myself

Hope this helps

Purple

[BballJ]

Hi Plumjuice & Ms Purple,

Thank you for your responses. I totally relate to what you both wrote.

MsPurple, i have to agree with a lot of your feelings, almost felt like i wrote it cause i get so many of those. I will search for the youtube videos and see what comes of it.

Good news is since i started this thread, my partner is more and more coming to terms with the condition (I say condition, because it doesn't like the word illness) and she is everyday getting used to it and helping where she can. It's never easy as we all are aware but i am so thankful i found these forums, as they have helped heaps.

Jay