First Post - Advice welcome!

BJ1989 · ‎22-05-2019

Hi everyone, this is my first post. It's going to be a long rambling mess, I know that! I think that I've always struggled with anxiety and a little depression. I was diagnosed at uni and tried some counselling but I just didn't gel with anyone. I did some research and I managed to find some techniques that helped me manage. These techniques don't seem to be working anymore. I have a management position in a pretty fast paced industry and my performance is slipping. I doubt my abilities and am far less resilient when things go wrong. I have a history of being my own worst critic - but I know that my productivity has dipped, my concentration levels are terrible and I doubt my decision-making. I am writing this off the back of a bit of a sudden outburst in front of my PC. I just burst into tears, a total sobbing mess. I don't think a panic attack, No pain or anything like that. Dizziness, ill-feeling in the gut, and just sudden uncontrollable crying. I now work from home due to a change in circumstances and as my work product is largely digital, it works, so I'm lucky nobody saw. I have been struggling for the past few weeks, progressively getting worse but I actually managed a decent night's sleep and felt OK when I woke, but then I lost it out of nowhere. I consider myself self-aware and capable. I know the next step is to speak to a GP, but I don't have one. So, I started going into research overdrive trying to find someone and am overwhelmed. I feel like now I am ready and I want to make it happen immediately and take the day off and just bite the bullet. But with a day full of meetings and already half way done- how do I explain that? Do I fess-up? Do I just reason 'personal circumstances' and log back in for meetings only? But then how do I explain that to the team I look after? After the 'episode' a little while I go I just feel exhausted and beaten. My head is spinning. I'm worried there will be a work incident/emergency and I won't be able to manage it. I know there are people in a greater crisis than me and I feel awful I'm taking up space here, but I just don't even know how to verbalise to anyone outside of this. So, sorry for the vent.

Guest_2496 · ‎22-05-2019

Hi BJ

It does sound like it could have been a panic attack - the dizzyness etc, there doesn't have to be pain. And after a panic attack it's natural to feel quite flat and exhausted so time away from your desk would be a great option.

Certainly say personal circumstances, you don't have to explain in full. If you need to go to a dr for whatever reason then you need some time off work.

On the beyond blue site, under the Get Support tab you can search 'find a professional' and maybe find a gp near you that is versed in mental health issues. I mean they all should be but I find at the practice I go to two of the 8 drs available have a particular interest / more training in mental health.

So....I hope you can see one today and get on top of it all really quickly, that'd be so great for you 🙂

best wishes BJ, let us know how you're getting on (if you want to)