Finding it so hard to socialize.

[Philli]

My names Liam I'm a 21 year old male and have suffered from anxiety and depression for most my life. In high school anxiety first started to kick in and got worse as i got older. I used to walk around the school to avoid socializing with friends. If i was late to school i couldn't enter the classroom as I would get so nervous I would go into a panic. I dropped out of high school start of year 12 and went on working in a restaurant. I was 17 at the time and I got my first job as a kitchen hand and worked my way up making pizzas and cooking in the kitchen. Going to work was a burden everyday my anxiety would just get so bad that I just feel like I didn't belong. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. the buisness closed down down a year and a bit after and I was relieved that I didn't have to go back to work. Everyday I went I barely said a word, I would get so paranoid about with people were thinking about me. Anyways I didn't leave the house for about 3 years until mum convinced me to go see my gp. He prescribed me medication and have been upping the dose for 6 months now. I see a psychologist but it just doesn't help my anxiety levels are down but now I just get depressed at home. Today I had my first shift as a volunteer at an op shop and boy was it hard, not only do I get anxious but I start getting paranoid on what other people think on me. I just fell like I don't fit in, I've tried suicide and failed I am so stuck I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to be housebound anymore I want a life. Anyways Im only venting on here becuase i have no one else to talk to, Anyone else going thru the same thing I wish you the best.

[Missy_M00]

Hi Liam.

It is very brave of you to share your story. I didn't want to read and not say anything.

I had anxiety for years before I needed medication.

Not sure if you want to try this. I know how hard it can be. I use to read self help books. And I dared myself to do something out of my comfort zone almost every day. Or at least every opportunity. And remember to let people know how you feel. If your comfortable with it.

My work place know I suffer anxiety and when I'm having a bad day, be it just anxiety or paranoia, I let them know. Most of the time I feel better after letting them know.

Humans can be quiet compassionate and understanding. And offer support. Just by talking. It's scary at first...but like I said, test yourself each day. Start small. Practise with relatives. I dunno....what did I do...compliment a stranger. Ask them where they got there shoes from. It's just a short conversation. So you don't feel like you will get stuck in a long conversation.

I hope this helped.

Missy Moo *hugs*