Feeling Trapped

[unicorn2580]

I have been in unhealthy relationship with a work colleague for 7 years that I can’t seem to get out of because of my fears of the unknown and my lack of self worth. Whenever we fight we dont talk for weeks and I get really bad anxiety. During this time I try to keep my mind busy but I don’t feel like doing anything although I try to push myself ie. gym, being social, eating, sleeping.I  try to keep my boundaries from him, because im always the one who reaches out, but because I can’t handle the anxiety I do end up reaching out to try sort it so I can make the feelings stop. Because we have to work closely together I have found it difficult to distance myself .I feel so obligated to work as I have a lot of responsibility with people relying on me and have so much to do. I actually like my job but I feel like I have to leave it if the relationship stops- which I don’t want to do. It feels like no matter where I turn there is something I can’t/don’t want to do because im either too scared or feel lost and I can’t stick to decisions I made. With all of that, would like to ask: 
- How do you manage your anxiety if you have no motivation to look after yourself?

- How do you make life changes when you are too scared?
- is trying to sort things out to ease feelings a good thing to do? 

I have been seeking counselling but thought to this forum. Thank you

[geoff]

Hello unicorn2580, 7 years is a long time being involved with this person, so it's not going to be simple for you to change, especially if you are working with him.

If you want to leave this relationship then perhaps you might have to get a transfer to another department, because it would be very difficult to still work with him out this r/lationship and it would affect your work, so either he goes or you do.

If you suffer from anxiety then it's virtually impossible to have any motivation, because this illness dominates everything you do, but if you leave then it may vanish and then start off fresh again.

I can'ttell you what to do, but to sort out things, first you need to consider whether this r/lationship is worth while.

Geoff.

Life Member.