Feeling scared

[Feeling_lowsy]

Hi All,

Doing everything I’m meant to be doing to deal with the anxiety and depression yet still feel scared almost all of the time. Even logging into this forum as a first time user is challenging my emotions. Please be kind on your reply.

[Feeling_lowsy]

It’s Sunday night, everyone is getting ready for work tomorrow. Getting their routines together, getting ready to be productive and I’m getting more upset. I’m off work because of the black dog feeling hopeless, useless and a poor role model for my kids who head off to school each day whilst I’m at home. Why do others do on these circumstances? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Croix]

Dear Feeling Lowsy~

Coming here to the Forum and composing your first post can seem a very big step, and takes a fair bit of courage, as does setting out how you feel for others to see. It will be fine, as the ones here who read your message are like me, they have been there too.

Seeing the world get ready for work while unable to do so is a pretty isolating and upsetting thing. It quickly leads on to feelings of letting people down and inadequacy. Those feelings are not true though. When I improved I came to see it was the depression altering my thoughts and the facts were very different. Being ill is just that, something beyond one's control.

I only ever started to improve when I had help. Now I'm pretty good. So can I ask you if you are seeing a doctor and under treatment? If so I'd suggest going back and saying things are not working. Of course if you have not yet seen one then now is exactly the right time to start.

I was lucky in that I had a partner who was very supportive, loved and cared for me. It was hard on her but she made a huge difference, even my just knowing she was here. Do you have anyone like that?

Kids are pretty flexible provided there is love in their lives, and if there are things you cannot do now I'm sure there will be a time when you can.

Thank you for trusting us with your story, we'd really like it if you said more about yourself and your life

Croix

[Feeling_lowsy]

Thanks Croix,

Yes I have the support of both my GP and psychologist and a great network of friends and family including my most magnificent wife.

They all help and I have no doubt that without them I would be far worse. Yet even with their help, the black cloud still envelopes me when I least expect it. One minute all is good, and then without notice I find myself crying on my bed with no explanation as to why. It’s scary, disconcerting and quite unpredictable.

Maybe I should revisit my health care professionals and discuss this to see if there are other strategies to tap into. Good advice - thanks and thanks for sharing your experiences with me.

[Croix]

Dear Feeling lowsy~

Yes it can come one quickly and at the time there does not seem to be a reason one can point to. Someone once told me it was depression and anxiety being like a very full cup, and it took practically nothing to make it spill over.

I have had a number of strategies sitting there waiting for such times, none have been 100% effective but at least are something, which not only helps at the time but also makes me a little less afraid, as I know they are there.

One of the most effective - for me - is something that involves physical moment. Even when feeling lousy going outside and a walk around the house or somewhere like that does tend to distract the mind a little. There is a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind which with practice does break the chain of thoughts.

Have a look at :

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Which even though for anxiety has a lot of good stuff in it.

Doing things you enjoy is most important, even if you find it hard to remember any. It gives your mind a rest, and something to look forward to each day. It does not have to be a big thing. Talking with a partner, reading a book, a pet, whatever suits you. It is not being selfish, it is medicine for the soul.

Croix

[Feeling_lowsy]

Thank you 👍🏼

[Feeling_lowsy]

Hi Croix,

I went back to the the psychologist today. Had a great chat, discussed some more strategies and kept myself occupied with some meaningful work. Feeling much better today because of it.

Thanks for spurring me on. One day done, let’s hope tomorrow is a good day.

[Croix]

Dear Feeling lowsy~

👍

I'm really pleased for you, it's amazing what a difference a sensible health professional can make.

-C

[Feeling_lowsy]

Gee I find the mornings hard. I’m currently not at work on sick leave. Everyone else is getting going and I lie awake from all hours worrying and getting very upset. It just seems that every morning is ground hog day and every morning I end up battling the same demons.

My wife and kids are great, but it’s hard to put on a brave face each day when I feel anything but brave.

By about 10am when I’m into the routine of the day I feel somewhat better, but the five hours beforehand seem ever so daunting and lonely and terrifying. I do breathing exercises, I try to distract myself but nothing seems to work all the time or completely. What are the online chats through beyond blue like? Also the support over the phone? Are they people just to talk to or are they there to direct you to services?

thuoughts anyone?

[KittyCat23]

Like all emergency services they are time limited chats designed to refer you to regular support. Getting regular support can be hard because there are often long wait times and mental health is seriously under-funded in this country. I've been seeing a psychologist on 2 mental health plans but feel that level of support only just scratches the surface. I do understand the gripping fear though, I remember those early days very clearly and they were terrible. The good news is that my anxiety as a major manifestation is gone now, I no longer have panic attacks. But the depression seems to be with me like a faithful friend.