Feeling overwhelmed and hopeless

[Louise15]

Hi

This is my first post on BB. I have been doing some research on this site over the last few days; and have realised that I have social anxiety as well as depression. The social anxiety/ phobia has been happening since my teens, and I never recognised the symptoms until reading the information on this site. It's like a light bulb has literally gone on! 

I avoid social situations whenever I can, I never go to parties and I have had lots of moments where my face becomes hot, very red and sweaty. I thought at the time it was happening frequently that it was due to rosacea (a skin condition). I can remember in high school and Uni, when I have had to stand up in front of the class and give a speech, I would end up with a migraine, due to the stress of being the centre of attention. If I'm forced to socialise, I either sit quietly, hoping no one will single me out, or I have wine (enough to not care).

My hb gets annoyed with me when I don't want to socialise, which just makes the feelings I have worse. I initially had PND, and I have been taking antidepressants for about 14 years, I have managed to wean my medication down, with the hope of not having to take it at all. I'm feeling very flat, and really just can't see a 'light' at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks for reading

[white knight]

Hi Louise welcome here

I had anxiety from a major workplace incident and the 25 years after it before I conquered it...a rare thing really.

I found the mix of medication, relaxation techniques and environmental changes the best. In relation to social issues my thoughts are that you might be better with one on one situations rather than parties or multiple friends at once.

My wife has one friend that lives in Queensland (we are in Vic). She often says she only needs one friend. She is right. But issues are compounded when your partner has expectations of you that takes you out of your comfort zone.

I think there is a compromise. You agree to attend functions but he agrees to allow you to be left in your place where you feel the most at ease. The alternative is you don't go and you could tell him that. We often mention in these pages how those with mental restrictions aren't understood. There is little likelihood he will ever "get it". That's not to say its his fault. Walking in others shoes isn't easy. So be understanding yourself and accept that this process of acceptance of your issues is hard for everyone.

Above all else - be yourself. No one should pressurise you to be anything else. But be positive. You never know when you are sipping your drink at a function that someone will come up to you and tell you they have social anxiety. A friendship commences and your attendance is all worthwhile.

Don't be tempted to jump off the train they call "normal" to shut yourself away or your life can start to spiral downwards. Keep in touch with reality. But educate your partner to be tolerant and a little understanding.

Compromise is best.

Tony WK

[Louise15]

Thanks Tony, for responding. I have just been to see my GP and had a change of medication, hopefully after the initial change over this will help. I'm going to look into some relaxation techniques too.

Regards

Louise15