Feeling out of control...

Layne · ‎02-03-2015

Hi, I'm 44 yrs old and have only in the past 3 yrs been suffering... Sometimes I'm sure that when I have an attack that it is actually the end of the world for me.. In my head I try to rationalise my fears and breathe... But I can't seem to calm down... I recall once my whole body was paralysed and I couldn't talk, my hands were all curled up and I had no movement in my body... I'll never forget the look on my husbands face when he thought I was dying... It devestates me that I'm not the strong level headed person I use to be... How did I become this sad pathetic shell of a woman... How do I stop this ruining my life? How did I become this person that I'm disgusted and ashamed of.... Makes me cry just typing this.

CrashCoyote · ‎02-03-2015

Hi Layne,

I would like to offer some meaningful support to you but I need more information. Have you been to see a doctor or psychologist? Have you been diagnosed with anything? Are you undergoing treatment?

I'd be keen to hear back from you.

Kind regards, John.

Layne · ‎03-03-2015

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and have severe panic attacks. I was seeing a counsellor but found that talking about things from my past and what was happening at present made me even more emotional and drained. I am on medication but do not like taking it as it makes me feel weak and pathetic.. Just seems a little unfair that I am no longer able to control my emotions. I sit here crying as I type to you.

CrashCoyote · ‎03-03-2015

Hi again Layne,

I am quite tired tonight but I really wanted to write back to you before I go to sleep.

Thank you for your reply. You sound like you understand your conditions reasonably well. I must ask you, though, to follow your treatment regime.

CBT can be draining and difficult, but like most unpleasant treatments, there are no short cuts. The same with meds. I don't use meds for my psychological conditions (never been prescribed any) but I always take my anti hypertensive meds and my diabetic tablets. Using them gives me the best chance of managing my conditions.

None of this is about fairness. It is unfair that you cannot control your emotions but it is also very common. I will support you and answer any posts you may care to make and would ask you to please try to follow your professionals' advice.

Kind regards, John.

Layne · ‎05-03-2015

I appreciate your concern. It's a shame anyone has to deal with it. I'm sure there are people worse off than me.

I have trouble understanding the WHY behind it all. I'll figure it out one day x

CrashCoyote · ‎06-03-2015

Hi Layne,

You must be aware that life is unfair. It is just how it is. And yes, there will always be someone worse off, but that does not minimise your feelings or needs.

I am happy to talk things though with you if you want. Let's talk about your support network. Do you have one? Does it help?

Let's do a step at a time.

Kind regards, John.