Feeling Lost and Overwhelmed

[LostSoul]

Hi Everyone

I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a kid, I am now in my mid 30's and I just find myself feeling more lost and overwhelmed, as each day passes, by everything and everyone.

Nothing seems to get easier, only harder!

My mother is a narcissist, my partner of 10 years is possibly bi-polar (I say possibly because I was told he was diagnosed before I met him but went off his medication because he didn't think he needed it) and I dare not bring it up with him, and I work with someone on a daily basis who is a worker like me but seems to think it is their duty to micro manage me because they can't cope unless everything is the way they want (ocd!)

I constantly feel like I am fighting a losing battle with everything, feeling like I am standing there just digging the biggest hole underneath myself and soon it's going to be too big for me to get out of. I feel as though I'm constantly being watched and scrutinized, as though I'm not allowed to have a voice, or if I make a choice, it's wrong. 

Is there anyone else out there who has similar issues? or who feels like this? How do you cope / get through each day?

Best wishes

Lost Soul

[Ranga-1]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Regarding your mother, can you go low contact with her? As for your partner, can you speak to a professional about your concerns? A professional will be able to give you the advice you need and what you should do, signs to look for etc...

Day-to-day, remind yourself of why you're good. What did you do or achieve today that was good? It could be as simple as wiping down the kitchen benches. Maybe you cleared some stuff from the too-hard basket. Maybe you treated yourself to an enjoyable television show. You're a legend for doing something nice for yourself.

Can you chunk your obligations and chores into segments? Tackle one thing at a time and focus on that? It might make things seem less overwhelming for you. 

Remind yourself you're a legend - you have reached out for help and that makes you a legend because you're doing a good thing for yourself. 

[Mark Z.]

Hi LostSoul,

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your challenge, it must be very hard for you. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed given the circumstances you've described.

It sounds like boundaries could be very helpful in your relationships, particularly with your mother and your coworker. It might be useful to define what you are and aren’t willing to accept from their behaviors. Setting boundaries can be difficult, especially if they are used to you acting a certain way, but it’s crucial for your mental health.

For your relationship with your partner, it could be beneficial to address the topic of his mental health in a supportive way, which might be easier for him to accept. Will you consider suggesting a joint consultation with a mental health professional? This could open up a space to discuss these topics without making him feel judged.

With the coworker who is micromanaging, it might be helpful to have a clear and honest conversation about your work styles, if you feel too challenging to have 1 on 1 conversation with him about this, it can be possibly facilitated by a supervisor or HR. Communicating your needs and setting clear expectations can sometimes ease the tension.

Hope it helps a bit.

Warmly,

Mark