Feeling Flat

[Vers]

i have struggled with social anxiety for about 12+ years at this point and was prescribed medication about a year and a half ago and everything was going well but over the last few weeks i have felt really flat and my anxieties have started creeping back up. most notably i recently went a short trip with a few friends and just felt as if i no longer belonged with that group and ever since i have avoided pretty much all contact with those people which sorta just leads to me feeling worse.

On top of my friends issue i feel like im wasting my time with everything that i do. nothing really sparks any joy for me, things just fill in time as i wait for the day to end and i can go to sleep. straight after high school i went into university where everyday was overwhelming until i finally had a breakdown and was unable to even set foot in uni again. a cycle repeated for about four years where i would attempt to enroll in classes and go, fail the classes, breakdown and take the second semester in the year off completely. i tried to get back into the rhythm of things but each failed class just added to my doubts and eventually i just gave up and did nothing. and now im doing some classes at tafe and they are going fine but i have no motivation for them. i donn't care if i pass or fail, i have no idea what job i want and i don't even have any real goals or dreams or things i want to achieve. i feel like im just doing these classes so im not wasting all my time. people always tell me just "follow your dreams" or "work in what you're passionate about" but i don't care about anything really so i end up just feeling lost.

its been 4 years since i finished school and im no closer to a career than i was straight after high school not to mention i donn't feel like i have any strong bonds or connections with anyone at all. i mean i have friends but i don't feel very close to any of them and i feel like they don't want me around most of the time but i get confused cause i can't tell if that's true or its just my anxiety.

i just feel really lost and really down. im not sure what to do or where to go and im really sick of just dragging myself through life but i have no idea what to do about it.

apologies that this isn't very well formatted but i was just typing whatever came to mind. any advice is appreciated.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Vers,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're so glad you decided to join us here. We're so sorry to hear how lost and flat you're feeling at the moment, but please know that this is a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to help support you through this.

Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? We hope you know that you are always welcome to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

You might also be interested in getting in touch with Headspace- which is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 who offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have vocational services to help support young people develop work and study goals: https://headspace.org.au/work-and-study-support/

Many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. We hope that you keep checking back in with us to let us know how you are going, whenever you feel up to it.
 
 

[Croix]

Dear Vers~

Welcome back, I remember your posts from a while ago now, you were having troubles with uni then and were having panic attacks and being unable to complete exams, becoming so worried and anxious you did not go to second semester.

I think quite bravely you did not stop at one go but re-tried, only to have the same thing happen again as part of a pattern. That shows a lot about you. You do not give up easily.

Being on meds for the last year or so has been a success, you have felt better. It is only with the change in circumstances, or your body's reaction changing, or some similar reason the meds are not as effective. So I guess the idea might be to see your prescribing doctor and talk the whole matter over, see if an adjustment might help, or perhaps different meds or therapy.

This is a natural part of things, I've had mine adjusted or changed and it helps. New regime for new circumstances.

The fact you feel no ambition, no desire for a particular career, or probably what interests you at all is, frankly, nothing to worry about at all. Many younger people feel that way, and even if it did not anxiety to the degree you have will make everything seem unattractive.

Your judgment goes out the window. The main answer for me was that as my mental health conditions were treated my ability to cope and reason, and my ability to enjoy things and set goals became stronger. Anxiety leads you so you end up not knowing if it is you and your feelings, or others being less interested and interesting.

By know, after that year on those meds you should realise that there is inside you a person for whom anxiety is not a major problem. It is only if you do not take sensible precautions to allow for change in you and in circumstances that things go wrong. Then you end up dispirited and hopeless, burning all your mental energies on worry.

Can I ask if there is anyone with you to give support and encouragement without trying to fix things or offer silly solutions, just cares? Trying on your own is hard. My partner made a big difference once she found it was illness, and not her fault.

I would like it if you came back and said if you think the above is a reasonable way too go

Croix

[Vers]

Thanks for the reply it really helped to just put me at ease a bit. i will speak to my doctor about a change in medication.

"By know, after that year on those meds you should realise that there is inside you a person for whom anxiety is not a major problem" that one line really broke it down for me and it seems dumb how obvious that should have been to me but i didn't even consider it. so thank you for that.

as for anyone to give support, not really. i have my family but they just end up telling what i should be doing to 'fix' my anxiety which doesn't really help at all. but i do plan to get a referral to a specialist on my next visit at the doctors.

Again thank you for the reply it really did help to sort out some of my thoughts and gave me at least a stepping stone to getting things back on track.

[seyis]

Hi Vers, I just read your post and wanted to reach out and say hi. I have had anxiety for about 30 years. Sometimes when it gets bad it takes me into feeling very flat and then depression. So I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling this way if that helps at all.

I understand your frustration with the helpful suggestions on how to 'fix' it. It feels like no one can really hear or understand what you are saying and going through, even though you know they are trying and do care, and that can feel very isolating.

I think the thing that I have found most helpful over the years is to be really kind and loving to myself during these times, to try to not to judge or criticise myself or my feelings, thoughts etc. To just be very compassionate and patient with myself as I would be if it was someone I loved going through it.

I have found that it comes in cycles and that it will always cycle back into better times and to hold onto that thought. But in saying that, medication is a part of the story for me, my GP found the right medication for me about 8 years ago and that has helped immensely.

A big contributor to making me feel 'yuck' is when I am focusing too much on the future or the big picture of life and analysing where I am (or am not) and that reeling those thoughts back to just each week or month, or even each day or hour, really helps. Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to plan our lives out years or even decades ahead, but then we can start to lose our connection with our actual life and the here and now. If I am struggling to find a happy connection to something in my present life I just make it smaller and smaller until something makes me feel good (a picture, a plant, a book, a good movie), I just really simplify my expectations I guess and then slowly build up again from there as I am able.
I hope that helps a little 🙂