feel like i am a burden to everyone

[alexis123]

my anxiety is so constant and controls my life, i can barely do anything social anymore which as a result of that i’ve lost a lot of friends from me bailing all the time, i just think if i don’t go places i won’t be a burden because if i do i’ll ruin it

[Aaronsis]

Hi alexis123

Welcome and I am so very sorry you are having to live with anxiety, I don't personally suffer but my mother does so I have seen first hand how it impacts and debilitates people.

I am wondering if you have been to see your doctor, I understand that even this simple of tasks will be frightening for you but they are professionals and can really help you in these times.

Can I say that with anxiety it is just that, the anxiety talking to you and not truths. It is really important during this time that you can do some things that allow you to feel good about yourself and I can hear that you do want to be with your friends. Can I ask that when you are with your friends do even look at any of them and feel like they should not be there, that they are ruining the day/time? I am sure that you don't and your friends would feel very much the same about you, infact I was wondering if even you could chat to one of your friends and explain how you are feeling and let them know a little of why you can been taking a back seat?

This is such a horrible thing to have the constant worry and fear and being scared and just feeling tired and exhausted. I am so sorry this is happening to you but we are here for you too, to chat and for some comfort.

Hope to chat some more alexis123

Hugs

AS

[Here_I_am]

Hi Alexis123,

I can appreciate the feelings that come with the realisation that life has dwindled us down to a very small and limited social circle. I went from being very social and extroverted to having perhaps two or three people that I engage with outside of my immediate family (wife and two children) - everyone else is acquaintance or colleague at best. And it took three years or more to establish a connection with those three people outside of my family, so it was a big change and an inexplicable one.

I'm not even sure I can attribute it to my anxiety, as that is a new beast that's only emerged in the past 6 months. Prior to that though, I'm fairly convinced in retrospect that I have probably been depressed for a few years now.

Social involvement is not something I have restored into my life. This is difficult for me because I am still very much an extrovert and want to be involved in social connections with people.

How does your experience of withdrawing socially make you feel? Is there a welcomeness to it, or do you feel like you're letting go of something you don't want to lose? Is there any evidence that you habitually ruin social events with friends, or is it a fear you have that you might start ruining these kind of things?