Fear of loosing my child is taking hold of me

[Rubyrose15]

For months I've had a terrible fear of loosing my little girl to the point where I fear I've given her to much medicine and not realized or I haven't cleaned or cooked something properly and she will get terribly sick or that she will somehow find a tablet or cell battery and swallow without me knowing and I'll loose her or that one day I'll go crazy without realizing and harm her like what's been on the news with other kids and then I become afraid to be alone in case that could happen even though I know I would never want to hurt her . I fear so much that I cry at night and hold her tight . She is sick at the moment and I'm petrified she will stop breathing and visualize the hospital trying to resuscitate her. I sound pathetic but it's what goes through my head and it's eating me up that I feel like a useless mother 

[Neil_1]

Hi there rubyrose

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thanx for coming here and providing your post.

Now, with medicines, on the side of the bottle is the prescribed amount to be given – and I would suggest that you have one of those little tumbler things that have the markings on the side of them, where you tip it to the given amount.  So when doing this, may I suggest that you double and triple check the amount that you’ve poured – as I would hazard a guess you’ve already done this before – I think it’s something that possibly most parents would do.  I know I’ve done this in the past.

I’m assuming that your daughter is your only child at this stage?   Does your partner/husband understand the thoughts you are having at this time?

Also with these thoughts that you’re experiencing, have you been able to get yourself an appointment with a GP?   I think this could be a very good step for you to seek out some professional advice about all of this.

Would love to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[geoff]

dear Rubyrose, hello and welcome to the forum.

What I can see here is that you are having 'intrusive thoughts' which is associated with having OCD, I am only guessing here but would like to know your thoughts. L Geoff. x

[Mangof]

Hi Rubyrose15, welcome to the BB site, it's ok , from one mother to another this is what I call a mothers heart, I've had two children with death threatening conditions as babies and I remember holding them tight and crying also, by the sounds your baby is fit and healthy? But is feeling unwell at the moment? As parents we all get overwhelmed we see this innocent life that relies on us 24/7 and the fear of ever losing them is heartwretching we all need to remember every day is a blessing and each moment is a celebration of life each small step is enormous as there are many firsts for them along the way. I'm sure you are a wonderful mum,passionate and loving remember the best you can give is certainly enough if done with love. Do you have a support base? Husband/partner, A mothers group, play group? You didn't mention how old your child is. Here is a wonderful support team and people that genuinely care about you and your baby . This site offers a chance to share our concerns with an open mind to receive some advice or feedback. Make a appointment with your doctor asap you may be going through baby blues it's ok they are there to help what ever the case may be. I also encourage you to check this site out and tap into forums/resources that you feel will help you. Take a deep breath RubyRose you are going to be ok little steps forward is a great beginning.

stay Happy 🙂

Mangof