Facing fear again

[Guest_1055]

I am sitting on my chair in my bedroom. Hiding from my kitchen, I know that sounds stupid. But I have just returned from there, I desperately need to prepare dinner for other people, but I am having trouble going back in there. Because when I went in there last time, and went to grab the saucepan,  all I heard was mouse mouse mouse he is going to get you, get you, get you, immediately I felt fear and I could feel my heart beating in my head. I can't grab the saucepan now. I am thinking about this logically now, knowing that they can't hurt you and they are more frightened of people, then you are of it. But I am still here hesitating to leave my safe little chair in the corner. I have experienced panic attacks before and have had victory over them. But this one is a new one, a little different. Anyone have any thoughts? I have to make dinner. 

Thanks

[Lucille]

Hey Shelley Anne, , , again. Ummm. . . It's ok to have fear. Fear is a good thing. It means you're not a robot :DI have a quote for you, it's from Doctor Who, an episode called hide. Next time you experience fear think of this quote and be proud.  

"Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard I can feel it through your hands. There’s so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain it’s like rocket fuel. Right now you could run faster and you could fight harder, you could jump higher than ever in your life. And you are so alert it’s like you can slow down time. What’s wrong with scared? Scared is a superpower. It’s your superpower."

Shelley Anne, don't ever be ashamed of being frightened, no matter how irrational it may seem. I remember, one night after having a shower, I ended up sitting in the bathroom for about an hour because I was too terrified to look around the corner of the shower, I just sat there and cried, paralyzed by a fear of absolutely nothing! But it was ok. It's fine to be afraid sometimes. And it's so great to ask for help and admit that we're having trouble because it means we can get help. I hope this at least made you smile (even a little one) . Good luck with whatever you want luck for. 😄

[Guest_1055]

Hello Bluey Moon

Yeah I am doing OK today. How are you coming along? Do you struggle with fear as well?

Sometimes cooking does seem like a chore to me as well, especially if you having emotional issues, like sadness or something. I think I enjoy the aromas, like all the different scents that flow out from the pot, from the spices of a curry.

I have never tasted lamb shanks before. But I sometimes like fresh red salmon, pretty expensive though, where I live.

I tell you what, I still feel embarrassed about starting this thread though.

Thankyou Bluey Moon

Hugs xxx

Shelley anne

[Guest_1055]

Hello sweet Lucille

Thanks for your quote from Dr Who and thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it and you.

That is a long time to sit in the bathroom. I don't know what you look like, but I can imagine a person pearing around the corner of a shower. If I was there at the time, I would have hugged you.

Hug

[Bluey_moon]

Gosh, please don't ever be embarrassed about starting a new thread! Fear isn't always rational, I'm scared of lots of things: myself (that I can't be the type of person I want to be as a mother and wife), scared of losing my mind, fear of losing control, I'm scared of snakes, magpies when they swoop you, the dark, getting sick, I don't like mice much either! I'm scared of being alone sometimes, hurting people. I used to be petrified of driving over bridges! See what I mean, the list is long! 

I only order salmon when we go out, cause I really can't cook! 

Take care Shelley, and don't ever feel embarrassed! 

Skye

[Gruffudd]

Hi Shelley anne, 

nothing to be embarrassed about - really... 

I have been working on this thing that I call "a boy in a bubble"

It is like my own portable little safe place. It sort of works. Sometimes I find I need to not do things that I should and deal with the consequences, not being too hard on my self. Other times I can be really quite brave. 

I like to imagine my bed as being an island of solitude that is capable of travel in time and space (when I fall asleep there is some truth in that) 

My ultimate safe place is a warm bath in silence on a moonless night with all the lights turned off. It is heaven, like I am the only person in the world.

So cooking, If my heart is in it I go for it, if not it goes in the green bin and I break out the bananas and ice cream. 

 Rob.

[Bluey_moon]

Love the idea of bananas and icecream! 

[Guest_1055]

OK Rob.... I am now imagining a rather large glossy bubble, with shimmering pale streaks of colour. The bubble is floating, the bubble has a skin, that is protecting the valuable contents of its cargo.... Is this the image you have? Or does your bubble look different?

The bubble is quite portable, as it is floating. The cargo is safe, because of the protective skin.

Don't know what else to say here Rob, but if you live like that, well you are not alone, because I have felt like I sometimes live in a bubble.

Well the bed, is a safe place for me, I think it has a protective thing about it as well. Like you can hide in there. The time travel...um that sounds really adventurous.

You seem like a very deep thinker. 

Your description of the warm bath, with the moonless night does sound pretty peaceful. I only wish we had a bath at my place, we only have a shower.

And I am not keen to eat ice cream, but bananas, yeah they are yummy.

Thank you Rob, I did really like chatting to you.

Shelley anne

[Guest_1055]

Thanks for your re assurance Skye. I appreciate it and you.

Fear is well....a trapping feeling, a feeling that you feel trapped well it is for me. I used to face a lot of fear in years gone by, but it is easing off now. For which I am thankful. One of the things that I was scared of, was walking outside the house to collect the mail from the letterbox. I was trapped inside the house. I think I was frightened of another person seeing me. So I then would go out there at night time so I can sort of hide a bit.

But Skye I don't struggle with fear as much as you say you do. For me it just blares out from time to time. And only in some situations that I find myself facing. So I'm so sorry you struggle so much. I long to stomp on its head for you.

xxx

Shelley anne

[Gruffudd]

I think you are right fear is something that is constricting. So Shelley anne, are there things you did that helped reduce the fear? 

My list is partly above and yes it is a bubble like you described. I would like to be able to trade the car in for a real bubble and perhaps float overseas for a holiday, sadly reality is not like that. 

I suck my thumb, I never stopped, it is very centring. I am unafraid after a few minutes of thumb sucking. It also gives a chance to slow down the thoughts and remind myself that I am the same kid I always have been and that I am ok.  

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Shelley Anne, 

My fears have come on and off after time! I don't have a high level of fear a lot of the time, I can still participate fully in my life. It's the irrational fears I struggle with the most! Illnesses mostly but my psycologist and I are getting to the bottom of a lot of them! Apparently I'm a control freak with my emotions and a bit of a   perfectionist (that ones from the psyciatric nurse, who is funny as)! 

Thank you for your support and advise and for wanting to help me, I appreciate it more than you will ever know! 

Skye