exacerbated anxiety

[kaityo1]

To cut a long story short.. I have previously suffered from anxiety that contributed to a lack of self worth and confidence.

At this time last year I considered myself to be at a 'high point' where I felt I was in a good place with my overall mental health. I was particularly happy and motivated as I had just been accepted into university (which was a huge step and deal for me). Although I had the usual stresses of studying I felt as though I was coping well.

At the end of last year I bought a house with my partner which I was happy about because I had achieved something great and felt it was a much needed step.

Since moving in and dealing with change, my mental health has declined greatly and the symptoms of anxiety have come back worse than before. I suddenly felt a sense of unexplained loneliness, purposelessness, frequent crying and no matter how hard I try I just can't feel any enjoyment or motivation.

This has been bothering me for the past 3 months and hasn't improved at all.. and I just want it to get better. I'm lucky I have a patient partner who I can discuss this with but it makes me feel more alone because he can't relate to my situation.

[Step_Twelve]

Hi kaityo1,
Welcome, and thanks for sharing your post. It's really great that you've been anxiety-free and a good place mentally for a while.

I've learned that my anxiety can get out of control during big life changes too - new relationship, new job, buying a house, etc. Any big change or stressful event (even a happy one) seems to bring on symptoms. At first it was really odd to me because I didn't consciously feel stressed at all. If you'd asked me how I was coping, I would have honestly said I was fine. But it seems like there's something more subconscious behind it. I start getting dizzy spells and light-headedness for no apparent reason, then come the panic attacks out of the blue. It's only now that I'm older and been through a few of these phases that I recognise the pattern.

It also took me a long time to accept of it as part of my condition. Now, instead of feeling like I've "relapsed" or "gone backwards", I try to accept that it's just something that will happen and I need to manage it. I turn to a usual set of management strategies, which will be different for you, but for me it starts with making sure I'm getting enough sleep (and being strict about it), exercising lots, eating well, and meditating at least once a day. If my symptoms are still overwhelming, I have the option to take medication (either short or long term), which I know helps me after about 4-8 weeks.

The feelings you described, like unexplained loneliness and sadness, sound a lot like what I experienced too. My panic attacks started out as extreme worry and heightened adrenaline, then gradually morphed into attacks of utter despair and hopelessness. These are the worst and I'm really sorry you're having to go through that. My psychologist said that this is how anxiety can become depression, and the two are often closely linked.

I highly recommend talking to a psychologist and exploring CBT and possibly medication, even if you're sceptical about it. You absolutely can get better. In fact, almost everyone who seeks expert help does get better.

Good luck, and congrats on the house!
R

[kaityo1]

Thank you for your response, its good to know that someone else has experienced similar feelings.

I was feeling very much the same in that although I had these big changes I didnt know I was stressed but the symptoms just unleashed themselves onto me.

I didnt receive the postive reaction from my family that I had hoped for when it came to buying a house, so I think that also bothered me quite a bit and even 3 months later after moving in they dont visit or want to catch up as frequently as I had hoped which put a real downer on my social life and feelings of belongingness (even after discussing to them that I felt quite lonely). My partner knew I felt this way and organised multiple times for friends of ours to come around. Even though they were around I still felt lonely and withdrawn and my mind just assumed that they actually didnt want to be there and that once they had left I'd go back to feeling physically alone.

Although these feelings arent particularly new to me, I have never felt them to this severity before.