Early morning anxiety

[Ellie05]

Hi There,

I've been experiencing depression and anxiety over the last few months and one of the most difficult challenges is the early morning anxiety I face. I wake most mornings at about 4 to 5am and spend the next few hours in a state of near panic, worrying about all my most deep seated fears (growing older, losing people I love, Dying alone, the anxiety itself etc.). As it's so early and I'm tired it's really hard to manage the negative thoughts that come my way. It's really affecting my quality of life and I'm not sure what to do.

Has/does anyone else here experience the same thing? If so, do you have any tips on how to manage it?

[TheSteve]

Hi Ellie,

Thanks for sharing. What you are experiencing is very common for those of us who have had to deal with anxiety in the past (or present). As a matter of fact, it is in most cases that people who experience anxiety and depression do so first-thing in the morning. There are two very scientific reasons for this:

1) When we first wake up, our serotonin (brain chemical that toggles our moods between happy/sad; able to cope/not cope; and so on) is at its very lowest. It rises throughout the day, thus why we often start to feel better a few hours after we are awake and get stuck into our day. And:

2) The early morning offers us almost zero external stimulus. With no external stimulus, our active and anxious mind can switch on its typical "video" and give us a play by play of all the terrible, nasty, scary, horrible, and downright awful things that "may" happen in our lives. Of course, it is just like watching TV - none of it is real! But our mind/body does not know the difference and thus kicks our fight-or-flight system into gear.

Thus, we feel anxious and depressed!

Just knowing the above will probably make you feel better about it. I've personally had some horrible mornings, but thankfully they are a thing of the past. But my life started to change when I really "understood" what was going on scientifically. That gave me a level of control over it.

Some suggestions in dealing with this:

- Make the morning your time for a workout. If you awake and start to feel anxious, get up and go for a walk/run/go to the gym, do yoga, do some breathing exercises, do weights - whatever it is that gets you moving and the oxygen flowing through you.

- Create some stimulus. Read a book, watch TV (either something you are familiar with which may put you back to sleep, or something that will wake you up if you wish). Anything buy lying there and "thinking".

- Do some work, get a headstart on the day. Read the paper even.....

- Cook a nice breakfast and/or prepare meals for the day.

Ensure you have a healthy breakfast, protein is key along with good fats (full fat Greek yoghurt is my favorite for such mornings).

Good luck to you, and please understand that what you are experiencing is fully treatable. Please come back and chat with us anytime.

Steve

[Ellie05]

Thanks for your reply Steve,

I'm really struggling at the moment. Right now I find the anxiety lasts until evening time (although it's still at its worst in the mornings). There was a trigger for my anxiety a few months ago (job loss) and I thought I was progressively getting better but I find myself at square one again.

I find it very frightening as the experience is unbearable and I just don't know when/if it will get better and if it does, when it will come back ago. I've lost my appetite and shake/fidget constantly. I'm starting a new job tomorrow so I'm hoping things will start to improve afterwards, although I don't think I'll be happy in the role which is probably contributing to my anxiety.

I just wish there was a way to switch it off.

[TheSteve]

Hi Ellie,

So it sounds like the catalyst was your job loss, and it kicked off some situational anxiety which has become a little more constant. That is OK, it happens that way much of the time.

Anxiety can not kill you, but it can certainly ruin your quality of life and bring about depression. It is important to get a grip on it, at the same time, it is important not to fear it nor treat it as something that is out of your control. It is well within your control.

Keep in mind that your job (nor my job, nor anybody's job) is a permanent thing. Jobs are like anything - they come and go. We need to accept and embrace the change when it comes. Struggling against it, denying it, will create anxiety and discomfort. We need to let it go and surrender to our situation. It is OK, and will be OK.

You should search the term "mindfulness" and do some homework on it. This will give you a good way to monitor and manage the anxiety naturally. Also, relaxing and abdominal breathing techniques will give you the "switch" you are looking for to calm your mind and body.

If you can, pickup a copy of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. His book will surely resonate with you and give you a place to start in researching this.

We are here for you come back and chat anytime. Remember, that the fear of the anxiety will itself, create anxiety. Cut off the thought, you'll eventually cut off the feeling. It is not you, it is just a temporary state. 

Steve

[Ellie05]

Thanks Steve,

I really struggle with the idea that anxiety is something I can control. The reaction to losing my job was so disproportionate I couldn't understand it.

I also almost quit my new job today within 2 hours of arriving, knowing full well it would sink my career. It's so scary. Using mindfulness and breathing techniques helps a little when the anxiety is only moderate, when it's in full swing there doesn't seem to be much I can do. I live in fear of the next hour, the next evening or the next morning. 

I'm sorry to sound so hopeless. I'm afraid I've worried my family terribly with my state.

[HelenM]

Ellie 05, you're not hopeless, you're scared and how you reacted to your job loss isn't wrong, it is simply a sign that you have a nasty illness.

I had severe depression many years ago and it gradually became more mild. Last year it came back as fear - fear that I would become seriously depressed again. I thought I was handling it quite well. But then just over a week ago my doctor referred me for a scan and biopsy for a minor symptom. He assured me this was just standard practice. I live in Scotland and the NHS were going to be pretty good - 3 weeks wait. However I began to panic that the stress would drive me back to the bottom. Within five days my fear was huge and I was convinced I would become really depressed again. So, and this is a huge step for someone without health insurance, I went private. So on Monday I was checked  and all was fine. I am shocked at my inability to cope. Worried too about future problems. I feel weak as well but I know really that it's not weakness.

Mental illness is absolutely horrible. We are told to try harder, think positive, think of all the good things in our life. Few people know the pain. I think I have a good idea of yours. If you can do anything; try to realise that you are no weaker than someone who struggles with their breathing because they have emphysima (spelt wrong).

Take care, Helen

[Mummybee]

Hi Ellie,

How is the new job going? Are you feeling a little more at ease now its been a few days? Sometimes facing the things we fear the most can ease the anxiety... Sometimes it makes it worse, though.

You are not hopeless, you are far from it. Sometimes when I am at my weakest points of anxiety, my body feels weak and twitchy, I find it hard to breath at a normal speed, I feel dizzy, I tell myself "this is the lowest point, you will start to feel better soon, if this is the worst and youre still standing, you will ok". It doesn't always help, but later I know that I was right. When you feel at your lowest, the only way is up.

I hope things are starting to improve for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Mummybee

[TheSteve]

Thanks Ellie. I understand that it does feel completely beyond your grasp, and mostly terrifying while you are in the throes of panic or high anxiety. I completely get it. The breathing, when done correctly, will bring your anxiety levels down and help you get back to a "normal" or close to, state. It takes practice, but once you see the results you will become master of this.

Also, you somewhat provided an answer to your overriding question in your note above - " I live in fear of the next hour, the next evening or the next morning". It is the "fear" of a "potential" event or situation that triggers the anxiety, not the event itself. So, the abstract picture/image in your mind (which is not real and has no basis in reality at the time of the thought) is triggering actual chemical and physiological changes in your body at the time of thought. As the anxiety builds, you think "I knew it" or "here we go again" and bang, you have recreated the chain of cause and effect and end up in the quagmire. 

Cut off the chain of thought by using mindfulness; tame the anxiety with breathing. This is the start to the end of your problem. Definitely, seek the continued support of a behavioural therapist. They understand this very well.

We are here for you anytime. All the best and let us know how it goes.

Steve

[Ellie05]

Thanks Steve - I will definitely make the effort to master some breathing exercises. I think my issue is that I only attempt it whilst in the throws of my anxiety. It is probably something that needs to be practised every day.

[Ellie05]

Hi Mummybee,

The new job is going okay. The anxiety makes it difficult to concentrate but I'm doing my best. I've gotten to the stage where I can get to sleep at night which is great, although I still wake very early and have to deal with it for a good few hours before work.

Fingers crossed things will continue to improve. Thanks for you concern and support.