Don’t know how to help my son

[IvyJade]

My 21 year old son is falling apart and I don’t know how to help him. Everything was ok until he took a party drug for first time a few months ago. He had terrible panic attacks that next week. All seemed to be getting back to normal until a few weeks ago. Keeps telling me his brain doesn’t feel normal, he is foggy and it’s like part of his brain is always engaged. He can’t sleep, he is extremely anxious worrying that he will never feel normal again. Disordered thoughts, difficult sleeping, reduced appetite and hardly able to go to work. He is exhausted and scared. Sent him to GP who referred him to see a psychiatrist but appointment is 2 weeks away. I think we might both have a nervous breakdown before then. Trying to keep positive but starting to feel desperate. What can I do to help him?

[Guest_7403]

I'd suggest your son is filled with guilt and shame for taking an illicit substance, and that is what is affecting his mind currently.

Those drugs have a very short life span, less then 24 hr. So to rationalise it, he's brains structure hasn't changed and it's not what's causing these issues now.

You need to look at other factors, why did he take it, how does he feel about taking it etc

[Tay100]

Hi IvyJade

Welcome to the forums, posting here can be daunting sometimes, so we appreciate that you have taken this step.

It's great that you have secured some professional help for your son, that's a great step. In the interim, there can be a lot of anxiety about what to expect about accessing professional help- and as you say, you still have to deal with your issues in the meantime. You aren't alone in experiencing this reality. Perhaps speaking to a counsellor/mental health chat/hotline online would help you manage this 'in-between' time productively. We can help find an appropriate resource for you, if you like.

Feel free to chat on this thread also, we are here to listen. You can also check out this thread which may be useful for both you and your son here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapie....

Sending kindness your way- please do check back with us if you like- we'll listen.

Tay100

[Aaronsis]

Hello IvyJade

Welcome to the forum and what an amazing mother you are to search every means possible to help your son, I think you are so wonderful for doing WHATEVER you can to help him through this time.

It is so hard being the support person, not knowing exactly what he needs and what is going to help, how he is feeling and what works best, why this is all happening and to have professional help so far away is a daunting thought, but it is coming, which I think is great that you have been to the GP and that process has started.

I also hope that here you can feel some support too as I can hear that this is really impacting how you are feeling too, to see our children suffer is the worst.

Between now and his appointments he can call, and so can you for that matter the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 to speak to someone and get some support, there are also some things he can do to try to relax and feel some calm, there is the CALM app that is wonderful and a great tool for helping to get to sleep, sleep deprivation is horrible so if he can get some rest that would be great. Writing is also a great way to purge, to get out all the thoughts and the feelings, it doesn't have to make sense, journalling could also be useful then when it does come time for his appointment as he could even use some of his writing to start a conversation in his therapy, if he felt so overwhelmed he didn't know where to start, that could help his stress levels decrease.

Trying to get him to reconnect with things that make him feel good, if it is music or walking outside or painting or a board game, whatever it is that can take his mind off "him" for awhile and give him some peace and joy.

I think too that if he can see you are calm and you can reassure him that help is at hand and you are on your way to getting well again that would be good too. Also you doing some things that bring you peace and joy and make you feel calm also, making sure that you take care of you too, being a carer is a big role so please be kind to you too.

Here to chat as much as you like IvyJade and hope that you can find some comfort here.

Hugs

Sarah

[bluenight]

I think it's good that you're supporting him through this. Drugs can have all kinds of effects on people, so I wouldn't speculate until he can see the psychiatrist. What he's going through is not unusual, I believe it's pretty common, and I've heard people say stuff like it may last a few weeks, months, or longer and then go away and return to normal.

If it gets worse or even if it's staying the same, 2 weeks of that sounds pretty bad, then maybe ring and ask if the psychiatrist can fit him in for an appointment sooner, usually if you explain what's going on, people will try and help out.