Did anyone's parents often call you stupid

[SwansandSharksMan]

When I was growing up, my parents would often call me stupid.

I just seem to remember it so often.

They were very angry people. They said it so much.

It has affected my adult life quite a bit. I have problems making decisions. I often over think things. I can still hear my parents calling me stupid.

[Emmen]

Hello SwansandSharksMan,

That's terrible. Hearing your parents call you stupid when you were growing up can stay with you for life, even if they said it in anger.

Perhaps it's time for you to take a step back and understand why they said that, as a way to heal from this. Since it was said in anger, it not because you were stupid at all, but rather, they own inability to control what they said. It's more a reflection on them than a reflection on you.

I know this is easier said than done, but please remember that you make your own life, not them. The things they say shouldn't stop you from living your life in a way that makes you happy. Even if you make mistakes in life, it's a part of how we grow and mature (even as adults), and you should never let the echo of what they said force you into being someone who is lesser than the person you are.

I hope you are able to heal from this. This community is here to support you through your journey, don't hesitate to reach out if you need help.

Warmly,
M

[SarahZ]

Hello SwanandSharksMan,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out. I'm really saddened to read about some of the negative parts of your childhood experience and how this has carried into your adulthood. Hearing your parents call you stupid must have been, and still must be, really painful. Similar to what @Emmen said, often when people say hurtful words it's a greater reflection of who they are, and more than often it stems from an internal anxiety they possess. It might be helpful to think about why your parents were so angry, and whether it stemmed from their own insecurities?

Please remember that when people say hurtful words it says more about them than you.

If you're happy to share I'd be interested to learn more about you and what your daily hobbies/ interests are? Feel free to tell us more about yourself whenever you feel up to it!

Please remember that you are not alone and we are here to listen to your story and support you 🙂

Wishing you all the best and sending you positive thoughts ~

[Gonetroppo]

Hi SwansandSharksMan,

I feel for you. I know what it is like to grow up with parents who devalue you and let you grow up devaluing yourself. Unfortunately, we internalise these messages and they become part of our self-image. We develop a world view and adopt thinking patterns that confirm these messages again and again and again. I went on a treatment program for social anxiety some years back and a good part of that course was challenging negative thoughts. It helped.