Dealing with social anxiety

[MissJ94]

How do i manage this?

I have no friends, the only people i talk to are a couple family members. I cant maintain relationships because i panic that theyre hiding something or that theyre just going to let me go so i let them go first to avoid that happening, if that makes sense? All thanks to previous abusive relationships.

I get very anxious even going to the shop. I have everything delivered or as click and collect to avoid being around people. I only do the click and collect if the delivery isnt available.

I want friends, i want a social life, but this anxiety gets so bad. Even job interviews, ill have them locked in and then completely miss it without letting them know because of this anxiety! I have a job interview tomorrow, a job i REALLY am hoping on getting! Its literally a 5min walk for me. But im already having thoughts of just not turning up!

Even going for a walk, i fear that people will see me and judge me, talk about me negatively. Every time im out i feel like everyones eyes are on me. Is it because im dressed funny? Because im overweight? Do i just look angry and thats why i feel like people stare? Do i walk weird or too fast?

How is it possible to deal with it?

[Guest_1055]

Hi MissJ94,

Welcome. Yeah I can relate to what you are saying. I have signs of social anxiety as well. It was worse before. I could hardly get out of my house because of fear the neighbours will stare and see me. I can easily get out of my house now.

I also prefer delivery and click and collect.

I also can feel extremely self conscious at times (a bit like you think everyone is staring) it has taking more a while to change my thoughts there. And I am still working on it. But it's so much better then before. But most people actually aren't staring at all at us.

I believe you will help yourself by going to the interview. For a couple of reasons. One its very close to your place. 2 You sort of sound excited by it. 3 You can earn some money. And 4 (from my experience the more we say no to these these opportunities such as job interviews due to anxiety the more the anxiety grows)

Can you listen to calming music through headphones or something while you walk there.

Take deep breathes too.

Go a bit early and notice what's all around you as you walk. Buildings, trees, grass, the sky, birds even ants.

Ask yourself what is it that you are actually anxious about?

I went to a family gathering on the weekend. I am often fearful of these things. I was feeling terrified. What to I say to them? How do I stand? What will they think of me putting on weight? But I went and so very glad I did.

I really find it challenging to actually make friends. Get confused with small talk. And also have had "Fear of rejection".

Ok my thoughts are getting scrambled up. But I encourage you to go to the interview tomorrow. And no matter the outcome you would have won. As you did not let the anxiety get its way.

Shelley

[HappyHelper88]

Hi There Thankyou for sharing,

Sorry to hear your feeling this way, thats great that you have a couple of family members you can talk to
It sounds familiar, i have had a similar experience due to my abandonment issues and previous trauma

Its really great that you are aware of this

Having experienced similar issues including not wanting to turn up for job interviews its really important to see someone to address these issues.....It also helped me realised that my fears and anxiety were more then what the situation really ways and that its okay to be anxious but my anxiety was greater then the fear itself, My psych helped me with this


I have also had the fears of leaving the house and that people will look at me/judge me and that everyone is staring etc

When i got to this point i decided it was time to see someone

I think it would really benefit you to see someone and to start healing your past trauma so you can move forward
There is always support on the forum and I hope this helps, please reach out whenever you need to

[Witchhazel]

Hi missJ.

Just a quick message to tell you that these anxious thoughts are not reflective of what others think and people aren't thinking negatively about you. It's just the anxiety and it can be helped with therapy or medication and you don't have to suffer. You have a right to be present and active in the world the same as everyone else. Reach out and find a good psychologist or psychiatrist so you can be yourself without these intrusive thoughts holding you back. 😊